Happy New Year! If you’re new to the show because you’re trying Dry January, welcome!
Dry January is a great opportunity to explore what sobriety can feel like for you. Today, I’m sharing my top tips for how to make your Dry January a life changing experience… potentially one that will last far beyond this month.
If this is your first break from alcohol, I’m so proud of you! You are giving yourself a gift.
Resources (affiliated links):
Living Sober, Living Free Journal by Michelle Smith
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
We Are the Luckiest by Laura McKowen https://www.lauramckowen.com/books/we-are-the-luckiest
Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker
Join The Sober Mom Life Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1542852942745657
Follow The Sober Mom Life Instagram –
https://www.instagram.com/thesobermomlife/
For more about my personal story, check out episode 1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/freedom-in-sobriety/id1631208632?i=1000567425594
We now have a Patreon! Please consider supporting the show by becoming a patron. Learn more here: http://patreon.com/user?u=84021397
We have merch! Check it out here:
https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-sober-mom-life/
Transcript:
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hi, welcome to the Sober Mom Life podcast. I’m your host, Suzanne of my kind of suite and the sober mom life on Instagram. If you are a mama who has questioned your relationship with alcohol at times, if you’re wondering if maybe it’s making motherhood harder, this is for you. I will be having candid, honest, funny conversations with other moms who have also thought, Hmm, maybe motherhood is better without alcohol. Is it possible? We’ll chat and we’ll talk about all things sobriety and how we’ve found freedom in sobriety. I don’t consider myself an alcoholic. You don’t have to either, and maybe life is brighter without alcohol. I hope you will join us on this journey, and I’m so excited to get started.
(01:01)
Hello, and happy New Year. Happy 2023, you guys. We made it. I absolutely love a new year. I love just a fresh page on a calendar. I love a new planner. I love a fresh start. I love being able to start over. That’s what this is. A new year, a fresh start. I’m so excited. And if you are listening to the podcast for the first time, because you’re trying dry January 1st, I wanna say welcome. I don’t know, maybe go back and listen to a few episodes to see what we’re about over here. The quick rundown is that I believe, and my sobriety journey has been one in which I don’t label myself an alcoholic. I don’t consider myself powerless to alcohol because I don’t drink it. I don’t think I’m forever going to be in this battle with alcohol. I simply don’t drink alcohol because it’s a horribly addictive toxin.
(02:08)
And we have been tricked for a really long time to believe that it makes us funnier, and it makes us just more fun to be around, and it makes our anxiety better, and it makes motherhood is ear. And what you will learn here, and what we uncover is that that is a huge trick. And if you feel like you don’t wanna be tricked anymore, that you have given alcohol 20 years or 15 years, or 10 or 30, and you keep ending up in the same place that you keep getting tricked by it. And if you’re just sick of that and you want to see if life is better without alcohol, this is the place for you. And here’s a big spoiler, alert, <laugh>, it is, life is so much better without alcohol. Motherhood is so much better without alcohol. And as you’ll see, that doesn’t mean that it’s easy, but it means that you’re not letting alcohol make it harder, because that’s what it does.
(03:19)
It promises us all of these things, and we keep thinking it’s going to deliver. We keep thinking, you know, this time, this time, I’m going to be able to moderate this highly addictive substance this time when I promise myself that I’ll only have two drinks when I decide that with a sober mind. Well, guys, that kind of goes out the window once alcohol is involved and the addictive substance takes over, that’s why moderation is hell on earth. And so if you’re here because you’re trying dry January, or you just wanna see what sobriety is about, I mean, first welcome. I’m so glad you’re here, and I think your world is gonna change if you want it to, and if you allow that change in and that change to happen, and it starts today, it starts today, January 2nd. Wow, January 2nd, you guys, I’m excited. I’m excited for all of you who are here, who are new to this journey and just kind of figuring it out.
(04:28)
I have shared a lot about my story. And if you go back and listen to the first episode called Freedom and Sobriety, I do share a lot about my story. I stopped drinking January 19th, 2020, and I had way more questions than answers when I stopped drinking. I did not have all of these answers that I have today. I did not have everything figured out. I still don’t have everything figured out, and I’m still learning all about what alcohol is and what it does and how to reframe it and how to look at it. But I didn’t have those three years ago. I had one answer, and that one answer was, did I wanna feel like this again? Did I wanna feel just the, the shame and the guilt of not being able to count on myself when I said I was going to only have a few, and I ended up having way more than that?
(05:31)
Did I want to continue to feel like this slow chipping away at the center of who I was and not being able to trust myself when I told myself I was going to do something and I kept not doing it? And did I wanna feel a horrible hangover, get in the middle of me and my full life that was going on all around me that, that I wasn’t able to participate in because I was so sick because of the fucking alcohol? I decided that day that I was done, and I said it out loud, I didn’t keep it to myself. I wanted accountability. I told my husband, I’m not sure he quite believed me, but he went with it. And I had so many questions, you guys, I, I did not have it all figured out. That’s what I, I think if we wait to have it all figured out, it’s never gonna happen.
(06:30)
We have to decide, and then we have to go on a fact-finding mission, and we have to uncover, and we have to dig, and we have to peel back the layers of all of the things that we had been hiding and all of the stories that we had stopped looking at in our past drinking. And that can be the hard part of sobriety, especially early sobriety. When you start looking at, okay, how did alcohol really affect my life? What did it do? And that for me was tough because there was no more hiding. And I didn’t hide my drinking. I didn’t drink every day. My hands didn’t shake. It wasn’t that. But once I looked back and I decided to get honest with myself about what alcohol was and what it had taken from me, ooh, that was rough. That was rough. And that takes time.
(07:26)
But I wanna talk to you today about dry January. And if you’re doing that, if you’re deciding to do dry January, if it’s because, you know, Ooh, new Year’s Eve was rough. The holidays were rough. You drank a lot, or you just haven’t liked your relationship with alcohol, but you also didn’t know that you could just stop without declaring yourself an alcoholic. And so dry January is a good way to kind of tiptoe your way into that. Or, and if this is your first break from alcohol, first I wanted to say, I’m so proud of you. This is a big step and this is a step that you’re gonna look back on as long as you commit to it. And I think if you follow these tips, you will look back on it as a step that changed your life. And if that sounds scary and you think, oh my God, no, I don’t, this is just a break.
(08:23)
I don’t wanna, I’m not never drinking. This isn’t gonna be forever. Hold on. We need to talk about forever because what the hell is forever anyway? When do we ever have to answer that? We’re never gonna do something again in the rest of your life. I’ve never said that about anything. I don’t say anything is forever, because I don’t know what forever means. What does that mean? Don’t worry about forever. Forever will take care of itself. You’re not gonna worry about forever. And if someone asks you that, I don’t know what, what to say, guys, just tell ’em to fuck off. <laugh>. Just kidding. That’s just the stupidest question. And I hate it. And every, like, you’re never drinking again. I’m like, what? What? How, how is that? That’s just them. Anytime. We talk about this a lot on here, anytime anyone has a strong reaction to someone not drinking that is just all about them and their relationship with alcohol, you’re holding a mirror in front of them.
(09:24)
And so don’t get bogged down in the questions and the answering in the forevers and the never agains and all of that bullshit. You don’t have to. Those are questions that will answer themselves, and you do not need to know any of that right now. Okay? So we’re gonna just, I’m gonna go through some tips. I like practical tips that you can have this AirPod in your ear while you’re doing laundry or while you’re cleaning the kitchen. And I do this because that’s how I got through my first, I wanna say, three months of sobriety. I didn’t go to meetings, you know, I didn’t wanna go to aa. That what? Aa that wasn’t for me. I, I talked to a lot of people on here who did go to AA and who do, and it was great for them, but I knew that was not for me.
(10:16)
AA kept me drinking because in my mind, it was either you drink or you’re an alcoholic and you go to AA and you declare yourself powerful to alcohol. And in my mind, I’m like, well, I, I am not in this daily battle with alcohol while I’m drinking it. And so that felt like I would forever be tied to the substance and that that would make it just such a big thing that like who wants to battle something every single day, isn’t it? The freedom of sobriety is you don’t have to battle something every single day. Um, and I’m here to tell you that yes, that is the freedom of sobriety. And so I knew I didn’t wanna go to aa. So what was there if I wasn’t gonna go to AA and I was just gonna do this on my own? Also, remember in I got sober January 19th, 2020.
(11:07)
So for the first three months, yeah, we were in that pandemic. You remember that? That shit show. And so I was just home with three kids, a husband who is still working. And all day long, I had one AirPod in my ear and I was finding out the truth. I was on a fact-finding mission. I was a truth seeker. That sounds like qan. That’s not what that meant. <laugh>. And I was just listening to any quit lit that I could get my hands on any sober podcasts. I wanted to hear what alcohol was and what it did to other people. Because what that did, when I started hearing what alcohol did to other people, I could start uncovering those things of what it did to me and the stories that I had hidden way down deep because I was so ashamed and I didn’t want anyone to know.
(12:06)
Once I started hearing other people’s stories, first of all, it became clear that it was the alcohol, all of these stories of horrible things that, but not for the alcohol. If not for the alcohol, they wouldn’t have happened. That was a huge light bulb moment for me. I was like, hold on. So removing this substance, none of this shit would’ve happened. And we think it’s fun. It’s been marketed as glamorous and as helpful to our life and an additive to literally every situation when if you get really honest with yourself and you look at the times that you drank too much alcohol, was it fun? Did it add to the situation? No, you guys, it doesn’t. And these are the things that you start to discover once you decide to get honest about alcohol in your relationship with it. And so the first tip, if you’re doing dry January, is to decide, you are going to decide today, January 2nd, 2023, that you are going to give yourself 30 days to see what this sobriety thing is about and to see what happens to your life without alcohol in it.
(13:40)
And the thing about allowing alcohol into our lives is there’s this thing called moderation. And moderation. I’m here to tell you is the idea it’s hell on earth is what it is. And it’s a losing game because it’s you trying to control something that’s not controllable and something that is highly, highly addictive. And yes, you might be able to moderate once or twice, maybe three times, maybe four, maybe 10. But that’s the thing about moderation and willpower is that it works sometimes. But as soon as willpower runs out or as soon as something happens that makes you drink again or more, or take the third drink or the fourth, it’s out the window and the substance takes over as designed. And moderation is all about mental gymnastics. When you try to moderate, and I, I understand that everyone, most, everyone goes through this phase of trying to cut back, drinking moderate.
(14:53)
There are so many rules, right? Okay, I will only have two drinks tonight. Sometimes you do it. I’m only going to drink beer because red wine gives me a headache. PS, guys, it’s the ethanol. Doesn’t matter what kind of alcohol, I am only going to drink on the weekends. No more weeknight drinking. If I’ve had more than two drinks, I will take an Uber. I’m going to drink tonight, but my husband’s not so he can drive home. I’m not gonna drink tonight, but my husband is. So I can drive home. I’m going to drink one drink and then I’m gonna drink water in between. I’m gonna stop my drinking at 10 o’clock. I’m going to drink three times a week instead of five. All of these rules, oh my god, so many rules. And they work for a little bit and then they don’t. And then you think, well, I just need a new rule.
(15:49)
I just need to come up with a way that I can control this highly, highly addictive substance that is impossible to control. But there’s gotta be a way, right? Oh, that’s those mental gymnastics and that chatter that takes up so much of your brain. The thing about deciding that you’re gonna do dry January or take a break or just see what sobriety is about, the thing about deciding, and that’s what I did on January 19th, 2020, you take that mental chatter and shut it up, it stops. There is no more back and forth, back and forth, okay? Weighing this, weighing this. What if this, okay, well, I wanna be sober, but, but there’s this wedding and that you can’t, I can’t go to a wedding sober PS, weddings are so much fun sober. I can’t, oh, but there’s that big game. No, but there’s that girls’ weekend.
(16:47)
No, I can’t do that. No, none of that. You’re gonna decide. The thing about deciding is it frees up that mental space for you to then see what sobriety’s about. And there’s no more push and pull. You’ve been in the push and pull with alcohol for years. Don’t bring that into sobriety. Don’t bring that into dry January. Leave that behind because I’m telling you, it’s incredible what your mind can do when it’s not thinking about alcohol. Okay? So the second tip I have for dry January, and this is, I had a little pushback when I hear dry January, sober October, dry July, all of these things in that, I love that they get people talking about sobriety and it, this might be your first time even venturing into life without alcohol and even experiencing it. And I think that is wonderful. I think that’s great.
(17:50)
I wanna tell you that if you spend January counting down to when you quote, unquote can drink again, you’re still focusing on alcohol even in these precious sober days. And you will not get out of dry January what you can, and you won’t learn about what sobriety can be for you. So you’re kind of wasting it. You’re white knuckling it. And I wanna tell you something about sobriety. For me, sobriety is not white knuckling it. This is the secret. And I don’t want it to be a secret. I want everybody to know this that I don’t live my life looking like or thinking about experiences and days and nights with the absence of alcohol. And if I did, I don’t think I would be sober. I don’t look at my life and say, God, I wish I could drink. That. To me, where I sit today sounds fucking insane.
(18:59)
You could replace that with saying, God, I wish I could do cocaine. God, I wish I could smoke cigarettes. God, I wish I could drink nail polish. Cuz guys, it’s ethanol. Just ps, I don’t at all live my life with the focus on the absence of alcohol. I live my life with the fullness of sobriety. And so I want you to avoid the countdown trap. And we’re not counting down to February 1st when yes, we get to drink alcohol. That is so not what it’s about. And I think that once you learn the truth about alcohol and what it is and what it actually does to our minds and our bodies and our mental health, you just can’t look at it the same way again. I know I couldn’t, you guys, we spend so much fucking money on, oh my God, caring for ourselves. We eat vegan, we eat vegetarian, we eat cage-free eggs, we eat, drink almond milk because no dairy.
(20:10)
God, why would you do dairy? We cut down on our sugar, we work out at the gym, you guys, we were natural fucking deodorant. That doesn’t work. We are willing to forego deodorant because God forbid aluminum, but we’re gonna drink alcohol, drinking alcohol, far supersedes any of those. Natural homeopathic good for you, things that you’re doing. Stopping drinking alcohol by far has been the best thing I’ve ever done for my skin, for my body, for my hormones, and for my mental health and for my family and for my life. There’s n not been one single thing that has affected every single area of my life like alcohol. And I don’t think we realize that until we take it away. But you need to take it away and not live through the lens of lacking alcohol and that you can’t have alcohol. Cuz then you’re not gonna notice that stuff.
(21:19)
Then these 30 days are just gonna go by. You’re gonna white knuckle it and you’re gonna be like, God, do I miss alcohol without noticing? Wait, maybe my skin does look a little bit better. Oh wow, I’m sleeping better through the night and I have more patience with my kids. And my heart isn’t racing in the morning. But if you’re only still thinking about alcohol and you’re bringing alcohol into dry January, you’re not gonna see that. And so my third tip is to get curious. So let’s get curious about life without alcohol. Let’s get curious. How do things feel? How is your skin? My fourth tip is to journal. And so this kind of goes with the third tip. You’re gonna write down all this stuff that you’re noticing and it’s not gonna be all great stuff you’re gonna notice. Oh wow, yeah. During the witching hour, I get irritable.
(22:12)
I get irritable. And for me personally, I get touched out by five o’clock. I’m like sensory overload. No one touched me. I I just wanna be left alone and cook dinner. And rather than reaching for that glass of wine in order to escape feeling those uncomfortable feelings and to numb it all out, now I know what I actually need and I can say it and I can say to my kids, I mean, the three-year-old doesn’t care, but I can say to my eight, five year old, you guys, I’m not gonna talk to you for like 20 minutes while I cook dinner and listen to a podcast. I put both AirPods in and I know what I need now rather than just reaching for a glass of wine, not knowing what I need and numbing it out and being like a zombie, not even not knowing, not feeling.
(23:01)
Now I know, but that doesn’t start until you get curious of like, oh, how am I feeling right now? How am I feeling? A lot of us, it takes us a while to even figure out how we’re feeling because we’re not used to it. We’re not used to feeling. And you guys, you can’t selectively numb feelings. Brene Brown said that. And so you can’t selectively numb the bad stuff, but then feel the good stuff when you drink alcohol, alcohol numbs it all. And so sure, you might feel the irritability of the witching hour, but you’re also gonna feel those small moments of joy that 100% passed you by when you were drinking because you, you didn’t notice them. And so I want you to journal these things. And I know when people say journal, it’s like, ugh, journal, what does that even mean? A lot of us don’t know how, I’m just gonna tell you there are no rules.
(23:58)
It doesn’t have to make sense. You’re not writing, it doesn’t have to be complete sentences. Do bullet points. Two bullet points in the morning. How am I feeling? What do I want today to be? How am I feeling without alcohol in my system? And then maybe jotted some quick thoughts down at night too. So Michelle from Recovery is the New Black has a journal and you’ll hear her on the podcast pretty soon. And it’s called Living Sober, living Free. It’s at target, you guys, it’s at Target, which is amazing. Can we please infiltrate target with sobriety instead of the fucking mom waters and the Rosale Day shirts? So it’s a guided journal for women who wanna stop drinking. You could also get it on Amazon. I’ll link everything in the show notes. So the show notes will be this huge resource for you with all of my favorite quit lit podcasts.
(24:50)
And then I’ll link this journal too. And it’s a really quick rundown of how are you feeling, what are you excited about? What are you grateful for in the morning? And then a, a quick check-in at night with a whole lot of inspirational quotes and tips and tricks in there too. Because you guys, if you’re doing dry January, do dry January sobriety is so much more than just life without alcohol. It truly is a coming home to yourself and so much about figuring out what you need and how to be able to say it and give that to yourself. Okay? And so part of getting curious about life without alcohol, I always talk about counting the firsts in sobriety rather than counting the days. I understand you might be tempted to count down the days and we’re not gonna do that. We’re gonna avoid that countdown trap.
(25:44)
So instead of counting the days, what if you count the firsts during this time and get curious about, hmm, you know, if you have a wedding, if you have a girl’s trip planned, if there’s a game that you go to that you, there’s always drinking. If there’s a quick getaway with your husband, if there’s a date night, if there’s a girl’s night and you’ve never done those without alcohol, how do you know? How do you know they’re not just as fun, if not more? And I’m gonna say more fun without alcohol, you don’t, you’ve always assumed that alcohol was the thing that made those fun. And I’m here to tell you that almost three years sober, that as long as you like the people you’re with, alcohol doesn’t add anything. Things are still fun, events are still fun, people are still fun. You are still fun without alcohol because then you can have fun.
(26:45)
You can have like, you know, the kind of fun that kids have where it is this like childlike joy. That’s what it feels like. It’s fun without shame. And I’m telling you fun with shame. That’s not fun. That’s you just start to realize that alcohol is a detractor and all this time you thought it was making things fun. I am here to tell you that life without alcohol, somehow sober has gotten branded as boring, which just makes me laugh like that you guys, it could not be further from the truth. Alcohol makes things boring. I’m gonna say it again because you’re not gonna believe me. You probably don’t believe me right now. But alcohol makes things boring. It doesn’t matter. I had the same experience with alcohol, whether I was, oh my God, in Maine on a yacht or if I was in Green Bay at a bar, it was the same experience.
(27:51)
How is that possible? How is that possible? But it was, it was alcohol. Alcohol numbed at all. It blurred at all. I wasn’t experiencing that. Alcohol steals all of that from us. All of the experiences become flat and we’re numb to it and they all just blend together. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my life to blend together. And so how many firsts can you cross off in this month of January if you’re truly getting curious about what sobriety can be and how it can feel, I want you to write down a list of firsts that you see ahead of you for the month. What do you have coming up that you’re scared? I’m not telling you that you’re gonna be excited, you might be and that’s great, but you might also be scared because this is a first and firsts can be scary.
(28:47)
Doing anything for the first time is scary. But rather than just relying on muscle memory in what we’ve always done, why don’t we get curious and see what that first can be? And I’m gonna tell you something, it’s so easy to romanticize alcohol when we’re not drinking it and when we’re not up close to it, it’s easy to watch sex in the city or see alcohol like them drinking red wine on TV and movies and or on Instagram and the fucking mommy bloggers and the fucking mommy wine culture who tell us that we need wine for motherhood, which is a bullshit lie. And it’s dangerous. And I will fight that till the end. It’s so easy to romanticize alcohol when we’re not drinking it and when we’re not up close to it. But when you’re at a wedding and everyone is drinking and you are not, you are going to see what alcohol is and what it does.
(29:50)
And you are gonna still have fun. You’re still gonna dance. It’s still gonna be the same music. No one is gonna care what you’re drinking. No one, okay? That’s just your mind trying to decide, trying to trick you into thinking, oh, maybe I do need to drink because I’m, I’m gonna be asked and they’re gonna care and they’re gonna judge and they’re gonna think, no, they’re not. For the first five minutes they might say what you’re not drinking. Wow. Okay. Then they might say something because of their drinking beyond that, they’re gonna be in their cups and they’re not gonna remember that you’re not drinking and you’re gonna see as the night progresses what a big trick alcohol is. And you’re gonna see that it doesn’t make things better. It doesn’t make things more fun. It doesn’t make people glamorous. You’re gonna see it for what it is.
(30:42)
And then in the morning you’re gonna wake up supremely grateful that you didn’t drink it because you have a clear head. Okay guys? And then we’re gonna, you’re gonna think about how you can reward yourself during this time. My reward is always sweets. And that’s another thing about cutting alcohol out is your sweet tooth is probably gonna ramp up because alcohol was doing something for that. I don’t know, science stuff, guys, I’m gonna have somebody on here that can tell us exactly why our sweet tooth and our sugar intake tends to go up after we stop drinking alcohol. But I do know that it’s okay. Allow yourself that. I know it’s January, I know we’re, we’re, we’re trying to do all the things. We’re trying to change our life in this month. There is nothing that’s gonna change your life more than removing alcohol from it.
(31:37)
And that’s what you’re focusing on. The sugar’s not gonna matter. I have never, you guys, I’ve eaten a lot of sugar. I’ve never blacked out from too much sugar. I’ve never gotten pulled over and gotten a ticket or a D u I for too much sugar. Oh my god, how awful would that be? <laugh>, I would be driving under the influence of sugar Daily. I’ve never heard anyone lose her family from too much sugar. Allow yourself the sugar if that’s what your body wants. Find out ways that you can reward yourself if that’s at the end of every week, you’re going to go to your favorite ice cream place or you’re going to get a workout top and then a workout pair of workout pants or whatever it is. This is you being kind to yourself. That’s what this journey’s all about. This journey is not about deprivation.
(32:32)
This journey is about you deciding to be kind to yourself finally, finally, treating your body and your mind and your soul the way it was meant to be treated. And it’s coming home to yourself and not allowing alcohol to get in the way of that. That’s what this is about. And so if that takes a little bit of sugar, a lot of bit of sugar, that’s okay. This is a big picture here. You won’t always want that much sugar and you can worry about the sweet tooth later. I promise I’ll have an episode on it. Okay, we’ll, we’ll work on our sweet tooth together. I have sweet teeth. I don’t know about you. I have way more than just one. So you guys, I, I hope this help just kind of reframe how you’re thinking about dry January. If you need to listen to this episode multiple times this month.
(33:26)
And also, there are a few things I want you to remember as you go into the month. I’ve been thinking about these dry January and sober Octobers. I kind of think of them as running and I’m a runner and have been for like 20 years or more. And the first mile of every run I do is bullshit. I hate it. I’ve gotten psyched up to run and I’m so excited to, I’ve gotten my cl, I’ve got my clothes ready, I’ve planned it out. I’m like, yes, I’m doing it. Okay, I’m gonna go for my run. And then I start and then after like the first one or two minutes, my body and my brain go, oh fuck, okay, we’re really running. Oh, we’re running now. No, we’re still running. Okay, shit, we’re running. And the first mile sucks of every run. It sucks. I’m kind, my central nervous system doesn’t know what’s going on.
(34:22)
I, I’m kind of freaking out inside like, oh God, am I really doing? How long am I gonna do this? Is this going on? But God, don’t I can’t, I just stop. And if I just stopped when my brain and my body wanted to stop, I wouldn’t get to that second and that sweet third mile because something happens to my body after the first mile, I start settling in, I stop freaking out, my body kind of gets on board with what we’re doing. My heart slows down, my breathing levels out and then I start feeling like I could run forever. I would not get to that place if I kept, if I listened to my body and my brain during that first mile, if I kept stopping after that first mile, I would think running was hell on earth. I would like, I would be like, why does anybody run?
(35:24)
I would have no idea what was waiting for me at that second and third mile because I kept stopping at the hard part and doing the hard part over and over. And that is a little bit of what a dry January and a sober October can be. Your body is and brain are going to be trying to figure out what the hell’s going on. Alcohol is still gonna be in your system if you had a big New Year’s Eve. It takes a while to get alcohol out of your system. And so you might not feel amazing. You might still be feeling the effects of alcohol during your dry January. Anytime someone just does these challenges and then goes right back to drinking, I think no, you just did the first mile. You’re gonna keep doing the hard part over and over. And if you think that’s what sobriety is, it’s not, keep going, keep going, keep running.
(36:21)
That’s what’s in my head every time. And so while when you start out, you might think that this is just for 30 days. I want you to know that alcohol will always be there. Always. It’s not going anywhere guys. It will always be there if you choose to go back to it. But what if you gave yourself a chance to see what that second and third mile feel like? And what if it just keeps getting better? Cuz it does. I am proud of you. I’m proud of you for taking this first step. I’m proud of you for getting curious. I’m proud of you for making the decision and then for moving forward and for uncovering all the shit that alcohol is and what it has done and what it has taken from you. I’m so proud of you. Sobriety is a rebellious act in a world where everyone drinks.
(37:14)
We are the bad asses guys. It’s us. Sobriety is cool. Alcohol’s a fucking lie. And you’re about to find that out. As long as you give yourself enough time and you give yourself a chance to. And I think this podcast is a great place to start. I will link everything in the show notes. It’ll be a treasure trove of sobriety resources there. Please use it. Please come and join us on the Sober Mom life on Facebook. It’s a group of you guys. Were up to 4,000 women, 4,000 women and moms, no boys allowed. It’s a safe place for you to go to find support, to give support, to vent, to be honest. You could share anything on there and someone will comment me too. Yep, I’ve been there. And that man that is the best feeling. Community is so important in sobriety and that it’s my favorite community on the internet.
(38:14)
So come and join us. It’s the sober mom life. Also, make sure you have a profile picture. If you don’t have a profile picture, I will deny you. I’m also trying to figure out the people who have joint accounts, like the wife and husband have the same account so far. I have not let those people in. So if you do send me a message and I’m trying to figure that out because I do wanna keep it a safe space with no men. So more to come on that, come and follow me at the sober mom life on Instagram and on TikTok. Also, we have Patreons. So we have bonus content. We have a lot of bonus content and there’s gonna be a lot coming for dry January. We have mental health moments with my mom who is a therapist. She’s an addiction and substance abuse specialist, therapist, and recently retired.
(39:04)
So you guys, she has time. So she’s coming to help us. We’re gonna talk all about the difference between shame and guilt, setting boundaries, if your partner’s still drinks and what that can look like. The difference between excusing and explaining. There’s just gonna be a whole lot of, whole lot of bonus content. So come and join us on Patreon. The lowest level is $5 a month and you get all of the bonus content. You guys, that’s like a cup of coffee a month. That’s great. So many sobriety resources. Thank you so much. Come and meet me back here every week and we will talk. I, I have a so many exciting guests that I’m really, I can’t wait to bring you. We’ve got a lot in the works guys, so you will be well supported in your sobriety journey. I’m so proud of you and meet me back here. Okay, bye. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Sober Mom Life. If you loved it, please rate and review it wherever you listen. Five stars is amazing. Also, follow me on Instagram at the sober mom life. Okay, I’ll see you next week. I’m gonna go reheat my coffee. Bye.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
Why are we doing an ad again?
Speaker 1 (40:25):
So that we can tell people about brand new information, a pop culture and political podcast.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Say it in a way that doesn’t sound like game show host.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
Okay. Do you wanna be in a room of overeducated, douche bags and feel comfortable? Brand new information is for you.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
What’s it gonna take to put you in this podcast today? We have brand new information on sale for free, free wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Yeah, we might not break the political and pop culture news of the week,
Speaker 2 (40:53):
But we put it right back together for ya. That’s
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Right. Listen, wherever you find your favorite podcasts.
