Hi, sweet friends! Two years. TWO YEARS! Here’s what I’ve learned in 2 years of sobriety…

What I’ve Learned in 2 Years of Sobriety

THE FIRSTS ARE THE HARDEST.

I guess it makes sense that I just learned this after my second year of sobriety. My first year was filled with all of the firsts. I was experiencing everything sober for the first time. My first sober vacation. My first sober dinner date with The Mister. My first girl’s dinner. My first sober holiday.

Prior to getting sober, I had coupled alcohol with experiences. Like a movie and popcorn. They went together. My first year of sobriety was all about divorcing alcohol from everything and giving myself a chance to see if it actually enhanced anything.

My second year of sobriety was all about learning that alcohol was never the magic. Alcohol wasn’t the thing that made something fun. It wasn’t an enhancer. It was a detractor.

With the firsts under my belt, I could actually lean into sobriety, knowing that the vacations and holidays and events were going to be so much MORE fun now that I am sober.

PEOPLE’S REACTIONS TO MY SOBRIETY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.

This one took awhile for me to learn. In early sobriety, I felt I had to prove to everyone why I was choosing sobriety, or why I don’t label myself an “alcoholic.”

I get pushback that I make sobriety look too easy. That for a lot of people it’s a lifelong battle, and my sobriety is misleading for them.

I can only share my story.

My sobriety story isn’t a battle. I’m not at war with alcohol, forever powerless to its grip. That’s just not my story.

My sobriety story is about freedom. I am free from alcohol, in all ways, and that’s the story I’ll continue to share.

I’VE NEVER REGRETTED CHOOSING NOT TO DRINK.

Much like a workout, I’ve legit NEVER regretted not drinking. I’ve never woken up after a night out with my friends and thought: Man, I should’ve had some wine. I wish my head was pounding right now.

There’s something about living without regrets that makes me feel lighter. And it’s been fucking amazing being able to feel proud of myself.

I wouldn’t trade that for a few drinks and a hangover any day.

I ACTUALLY AM STRONG ENOUGH TO FEEL ALL OF MY EMOTIONS.

Phew. This is a big one. If my second year of sobriety taught me anything, it’s that I can handle it.

My dad, dog and grandma all passed away in my second year of sobriety. It was fucking hard. The grief still catches me off guard. I’m still brought to my knees.

Still, I’m here. I’m sober. I didn’t drink away the pain or the feelings. When it all felt like too much, when I would have mindlessly poured myself a glass of wine, probably not even aware that I was drinking to numb the grief, I would retreat to my closet.

I can’t tell you how many times I went into my closet, shut the door behind me, sat on the floor and sobbed. More times than I can count.

I felt the pain. And I’m still here.

It always passed. I was always able to feel it all, get back up on my feet, and walk out of that closet and back into my life.

SOBRIETY IS IN THE LITTLE THINGS.

When I decided to give up alcohol, sobriety felt HUGE. Hell, I didn’t even know what it meant for my life, but I knew that it was a big decision.

Now, two years in, I can say that for me, sobriety is in the little things.

For me, sobriety is in those insignificant moments with my kids that I might have missed.

It’s in a clean kitchen every night before bed.

It’s in a date night with The Mister, filled with belly laughs because something was actually funny.

It’s in a clear head every. single. morning.

It’s in real conversation with my friends over coffee.

It’s in feeling true to myself all of the time, no matter where I am or who I’m with.

It’s in trusting myself.