Join me (and my puppy Georgia) for a chat! It’s our second Ask Me Anything – I answer your questions and share my experiences about judgment in sobriety, socializing, calming your mind, overwhelm and more.
The takeaway? You will find your way in YOUR sobriety. You don’t have to follow anyone else’s path. Make your own and keep going…
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Transcript:
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I wish more people would listen to our podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I know. I feel like this is why we need to do an ad. So this is an ad for brand new information, a pop culture and political podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
We’re a couple Gen Xers who talk about pop culture and political stuff on the brand new information pop culture and political podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Okay. But we’re not a couple we’re siblings. It sounded like you said we’re a couple <laugh>. That was so gross. No, we’re siblings. That’s my brother. I’m his sister. Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts.
(00:35)
Hi. Welcome to the Sober Mom Life podcast. I’m your host Suzanne of my kind of suite and the sober mom life on Instagram. If you are a mama who has questioned your relationship with alcohol at times, if you’re wondering if maybe it’s making motherhood harder, this is for you. I will be having candid, honest, funny conversations with other moms who have also thought, Hmm, maybe motherhood is better without alcohol. Is it possible? We’ll chat and we’ll talk about all things sobriety and how we’ve found freedom in sobriety. I don’t consider myself an alcoholic. You don’t have to either. And maybe life is brighter without alcohol. I hope you will join us on this journey and I’m so excited to get started.
(01:33)
Hi, it is me. This is a solo episode, which we have not done in a while. I, um, told you that I wanted to do an ask me anything episode once a month, and that’s what this is, and I thought we’d just do a little check in. I just got back from Mial with my husband and, uh, it was a good chance to reset and to just take some time away from the kids to reconnect, reconnect with each other and ourselves. You guys, I have, uh, as you know, I record in my closet and right now I have our puppy in here. She’s nine months old and so I hope she lets me talk with you and doesn’t interrupt. She’s got a little bone she’s chewing on, so hopefully she’s good. I have my coffee, I have my pumpkin picking candle going. I feel cozy in like the best way.
(02:30)
I feel all things fall. You could tell I kind of have some sort of cold, not covid. I I started coming down with it when I was there and then I started feeling better after like getting a facial and sitting, sitting in the steam room and kind of just like working it all out. And then I think flying on the plane just kind of brought it back. So I’m a little hoarse. Kind of sounds cool though, Georgia, Okay, hopefully she doesn’t chew up chords and things. I’ve been wanting to come, come on here and just chat with you guys. We’ve been having so many great interviews. I can’t believe that I get to just sit and talk with people who are so interesting and we get to talk about motherhood and sobriety. I feel so lucky that I get to be able to do this and it’s all because of you guys.
(03:18)
It’s all because of the moms who are supporting it and listening and sharing it and reviewing it. You guys, if you’re loving the podcast, I’m, I’m trying to get better every week to remind you to go rate and review it and follow along wherever you listen. That really does help. It helps us get discovered by new listeners and it helps possibly get advertisers in the future. You know, this is something that is important for all podcasts to be able to continue to create and bring you podcasts that you love because podcasts cost money you guys. Um, and I, as much as I love doing it, I also realize that the business side of it is important. So without going too deep into that, because I know it’s boring, Yeah. Rating and reviewing it and sharing it with people you love and people who you think it could help, that helps the podcast out a great deal.
(04:15)
So I really appreciate it. Also, if you’re not yet, go and join our Facebook group, The Sober Mom Life. We just started the interviews with the Real Mom chats, which I, I have been loving so much. Um, the first one came out Friday, last Friday, and that’ll be a bonus episode every Friday and we’re just gonna keep it going. I, I’ve talked with so many real moms so far and I’ll probably have another sign up. So if you wanna be on the podcast, the way to do that is to join the Facebook group. And then I will drop a link in there probably next month to do some more signups so we can hear your story. I love talking to sobriety influencers and authors and podcasters and people who do this for a living, but there is something about just chatting with a real mom who she’s not promoting anything her story hasn’t been told a hundred times, so it’s not, it’s not refined and perfect and she’s still kind of figuring it out.
(05:18)
And I think those are so helpful to hear when you’re in the midst of early sobriety or even later sobriety. I mean, I am so inspired by the stories that these women are telling and their perspective I think is really important. So yeah, go listen to that. The first one came out last Friday and uh, it’ll be a bonus episode every Friday. They’ll be a little bit shorter. I think you guys will really love ’em. Okay. I asked for any sort of questions or topics that you want me to talk about. I asked that over on my sober mom life on Instagram, on Instagram stories, and in the Facebook group. So I’m just gonna go through those. I don’t have anything prepared here, so I’m kind of, this is, I want this episode to be just like talking off the cuff, just me chatting to you, even though it’s like I’m talking to myself, but I know I’m not.
(06:09)
So that’s what helps me. Cuz if I was talking to myself, that’d be hard. So I just always think about you guys. Um, okay, I’ll just start here. Since becoming sober, almost everyone feels the need to justify their drinking to me. I ensure them that I am not judging them. How can I avoid coming across as judgy and do any other sober people deal with this? Okay, I love this because I think about this a lot, probably because I talk about sobriety all the damn time more than your normal sober person because like, I share my sobriety, I talk about it and yeah, I totally understand this. I never wanna come off as judgy and I think, I don’t know, like I I think if you don’t wanna come off as judgy, you can just say, I don’t judge anyone who drinks. Yeah. I mean, you could say that in a conversation when you say, you know, No, I’m not drinking, I don’t drink, I’m not a drinker, I don’t judge anybody who does.
(07:12)
It’s just not the right choice for me. Like, I, I think that that is completely fine to say that also kind of lets you off the hook. And if people are thinking that you’re judging them, then you’re just saying right up front. No, like I always say, I, I can’t judge somebody who drinks when I did. I mean, that just doesn’t make sense. And also, I just don’t judge moms who drink because I always think like, well, of course, of course you do. You’ve been told that it helps and that it’s makes everything better and it’s okay. And it’s, you’re supposed to think that that’s the big marketing and when you look around and everyone is drinking, I mean, it’s just, that’s the easy choice. And so yeah, I don’t judge moms who drink at all. My whole goal here is just to share what I have found out, not only about alcohol, but about a life without alcohol.
(08:06)
And so when you come from that place, I, I think that takes the judgment out of it. It’s like, No, I made the best decision for me. And then I just wanna talk to those people who are questioning to and wondering is there a different way and who are questioning their relationship with alcohol. So I, I think, you know, we always say that when you’re with somebody and whatever anybody thinks about your sobriety or says about your sobriety, that says more about how they feel about their relationship with alcohol. And it most likely has nothing to do with you. I, I mean, I think that’s true in not just with alcohol, but with a lot of people’s reactions to us and what we do. And so I think just keeping that in mind helps and it maybe helps you feel less defensive and it’s like, oh, right, they’re still working on their relationship with alcohol, whatever that is, whatever they want it to be or don’t want it to be.
(09:07)
They’re just kind of working that out in their head. When you tell them that you’re not drinking or that you’re sober like that immediately then is a mirror to them to say, Oh, wait a second. If she’s sober, what does that mean about my drinking? What does she think about my drinking? Does that mean I should be sober? Am I drinking too much? Oh damn, I thought I might be drinking too much. I don’t know. Well, how much was she drinking? What was her rock bottom, <laugh>, you know, all that. And I know this because I’ve done that. I have heard somebody was sober and then I went on that spiral of like, Holy shit, what does that mean about my drinking if she’s sober? And so, you know, they’re gonna do that even if you make it clear that you’re not judging them because we judge ourselves.
(09:52)
I mean, that’s just what we do. I I don’t know about you guys, but it’s safe to say I judge myself way more than I judge anybody else. And chances are that’s what they’re doing. And so you can, you know, I think saying that you’re not judging them is fine and I think that that probably would feel better for you. But then just knowing that however they take that and wherever they go with that, it has nothing to do with you. So just let yourself off the hook with that. Try to, I know it’s hard. Okay. Do you still hang out with your girlfriends that drink? I do. I do still hang out with girlfriends who drink. I find it totally fine. I, I’m not triggered by that. My situation also, and I’ve talked about this in previous episodes, but my situation was different in that I stopped drinking in January, 2020, and then we went in a pandemic and no one was social.
(10:44)
And so my early sobriety weeks and months were spent at home. And so I didn’t really have that social component of it, which I think was probably good. So there wasn’t temptation to drink because I mean, sure, I, I could have drank at home and I think a lot of moms did, but I didn’t have the social component coming out of that. I felt really strong in my sobriety, and so I didn’t feel the need, I didn’t feel like I missed anything. Like I didn’t test myself like I should have. So I, I think if you want to just hold up for a while and say no to social events where you think you might be tempted and where, you know, everyone else will be drinking, I mean, just say no and don’t worry about, I mean, try not to, I know it’s impossible when we say don’t worry.
(11:37)
It’s like, sh what, try not to let yourself spiral into thinking, Yeah, but when am I, I gotta get out there. When am I gonna be social again? I I have to, It’s like you will, you will everything in its own time and you’ll know when you, you want to start going out with friends or meeting friends for dinner or whatever that looks like, you’ll know. And I, I just think that that will always be there. The friends who are true friends to you will always want you there. And so, you know, if you miss some opportunities to go out with friends because you’re putting your sobriety first, I think that that’s, I think that’s what you need to do. And the friends who are your friends will continue to invite you. And you can even say, Listen, continue to invite me. I’m probably gonna say no for the foreseeable future, but please continue to invite me.
(12:29)
And then those friends, I, I know my good friends would be like, Yeah, okay. And they’re not gonna stop inviting me. And the friends who do stop inviting you, I mean, then they sh they showed you something, you know, and then they definitely were not worth tempting you early on in your sobriety. I mean, then the friendship was just not worth that. So hole up for a little bit if that’s what you need, and chances are that is what you need in early sobriety and that’s okay. It’s not gonna be forever. Okay. How do you calm your mind while being sober? Oh my gosh, how do I calm my mind? Right. That’s a good question. This also takes me into conversations about anxiety. And I wanted to share about kind of my anxiety update. So I think this is a good place to do it.
(13:21)
So I struggled with postpartum anxiety. I think I’ve struggled with anxiety for almost as long as I can remember. And now that I am sober, I do look back and I see that my anxiety a lot of the time was tethered to alcohol. And whether that was anxiety the next morning or anxiety about going somewhere where people will be drinking, unsure about how much I would drink, unsure about how the night would go, just a lot of uncertainty and uncertainty for me that equals anxiety. Like that’s definitely where I spiral. So I struggled with postpartum anxiety and O C D, it took me a while. I did finally get on Zoloft when my oldest was 16 months old. I have stayed on Zoloft then through two pregnancies, through breastfeeding. You know, I’m not a doctor disclaimer, but if you are struggling with postpartum anxiety and ocd, I highly recommend you talk to a doctor.
(14:23)
You are not alone. This is so common. The spiraling thoughts, the what ifs, the intrusive thoughts, all of that scary stuff. Um, I, I went through and I tried to battle it for a year and a half without help and medication. And it was, it took everything out of me. It was all I could do. So there is a better way. Talk to your doctor. My doctor was also fine with me being on Zoloft during pregnancy. I was, was on a low dose also pregnancy. It was never the problem. I was generally pretty balanced in pregnancy. It was, it was that postpartum period where the hormones just went totally wacky. So yes, please talk with your doctor. I also have, if you go to my kind sweet.com, I have shared my postpartum anxiety and Zoloft story and being on Zoloft during pregnancy, I’ve shared that.
(15:15)
So you could just search anxiety or search Zoloft on there and then you’ll find that, and no, this is not an ad for Zoloft. I mean, yeah, so I have been on a low dose of Zoloft since then and she’s almost, no, she’s eight. And so I’ve been on it probably, I mean, seven years almost. And you guys, the crazy thing is, I just realized like six months ago, maybe not even, and I’m on a low dose, I’m on like 25 milligrams, which is half of the lowest therapeutic dose. So I’m on 25 milligrams, which is, yeah, half of the lowest therapeutic dose. So you could say it’s not doing much. I never take anything. I never take Tylenol. And I, I just don’t, I never take painkillers when I have surgery. I don’t like how that stuff makes me feel. And so I, I think probably my like tolerance for that stuff is very low.
(16:10)
And I just realized the other day, like, I don’t need this anymore. And I know I don’t, I no longer have that generalized anxiety, the brain that won’t quit the just lingering hovering thoughts of holy shit, what’s gonna happen? I’m worried, I’m, I’m anxious, I don’t know what I’m anxious about. I don’t know what I’m worried about, but it’s something, I don’t know what it is, but it’s there. I don’t have that anymore. And that when I realized that I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it because I, I had always identified as someone who was anxious and someone with anxiety. And so to think that I’d not that anymore, that took me by complete shock. And, and I’m still on it. I I, you guys, I’m scared to go off of it. I, you know, I’ll skip every other day. So I’m on like 25 milligrams every other day.
(17:08)
I’m slowly going off of it, which is how I should go off of it anyway. It’s just going to be a very slow process because that has been my safety blanket and my security blanket for so long. And it’s scary just to count on myself. It’s scary. But I have shown myself that I can, and I am 100% confident that my anxiety has improved because I stopped drinking alcohol. I mean, that’s the biggest thing that has changed in my life. Everything else has stayed pretty constant. I work out the same, I do yoga the same, I eat the same. Like that’s the only thing that has changed. And from everything we know about how alcohol makes anxiety so much worse. I mean, of course, right? Anecdotally, that totally makes sense and I see it and I feel it, but I’m scared you guys am scared to go off of that.
(18:06)
So that will be a slow journey and I’ll be sure to keep you updated. And so how do I calm my mind while being sober? This is hard. I, I think I go back to my sobriety toolbox and I shared my sobriety toolbox in an episode a few months ago. And those are the things that I turned to in sobriety when I need that kind of help or that calming. And so I journal, I journal in the morning, which I think helps a lot. It’s those morning pages, those morning thoughts, just like, just dumping all of that mental stuff down into my journal. Sometimes it helps to do it also before bed. If you don’t do it in the morning, it helps me sleep better. And so just getting all of that shit down on paper helps. Don’t underestimate the power of journaling because there’s a reason why all of the, like wellness and self-help things say to journal.
(19:07)
It just helps. It just does. And then you can also go back and realize what you’ve always been worried about and what’s been a constant in those thoughts. So that for sure, I, I mean, exercise is generally my number one sleep and exercise. So there is some sort of like frenetic energy in me, in my mind that I don’t even know what’s going on in my mind until then. I start exercising, I start running, I start doing my shred class and then my, my thoughts kind of form into tangible things that I think, Oh, right. And, and that’s generally it’s during exercise when I realize what I need to do next. If something’s been weighing on me, when I realize what I want, what I don’t want in a situation, it’s either during exercise or during the shower when I’m able to just figure out what’s in my head and really like, organize my thoughts.
(20:02)
And so exercise I think is huge for that. It’s also huge for anxiety. It’s huge for the spiral. And then yoga, I, I, I’ve talked about yoga before. Yoga has helped me really just learn to be uncomfortable and sit in the discomfort. Like if you’re uncomfortable during yoga, then you’re doing it right. You know, it’s that thing where you’re pushing yourself to the, to that limit. What’s the next limit? Can I hold this like warrior one, can I get deeper into this, the front leg, can I lunge a little bit deeper? Can I hold this pose longer? And you’re getting more and more uncomfortable as you hold it, but you’re holding it and maybe, you know, today I’m gonna hold it it for 10 seconds and maybe tomorrow it’s 11 seconds and you’re just constantly pushing to the edge, kind of searching for that discomfort.
(20:55)
And that has taught me that I can be uncomfortable. I can, and nothing happens. That’s all it is, is discomfort. I don’t have to do anything with it. I don’t have to make it go away. It’s not gonna kill me. It’s not gonna kill you. You can sit with it. And so some of that, the spiraling thoughts in those things are the same. I, I look at them the same way. I acknowledge them, they’re there, it’s fine. I don’t have to do anything with those thoughts. They don’t have control over me. There it is, and it’ll pass. And I’m strong enough to withstand that discomfort. And so, and, and so are you, you know, I liken it to the witching hour. That tends to be when I’m at my, just my breaking point. And I’ve talked about that too, what I do during those times.
(21:51)
And whether that’s getting outside, hiding in the pantry, eating some chocolate, especially in early sobriety. Don’t try to give up sugar. Just lean into it. Just give yourself that. Yeah, I think that if you go and listen to the Sobriety Toolbox episode, there’ll be a lot more tips. Oh, and just sleep. Just if you don’t know what to do, if you’re overwhelmed, if you don’t know where to start, I would just start with sleep. Start with a nap if you can. Cuz then everything is so much better after sleep. Okay. What made you decide to become sober? She’s six months postpartum and I think it’s time to give up alcohol. Okay, so what made me decide, I think I shared in the first episode a little bit about my story and it’s called Freedom and Sobriety. I didn’t think about giving up alcohol before I did.
(22:43)
I had not been trying to be sober. I had not been counting days and then going back to alcohol and then trying again. I, that wasn’t my story, basically because I didn’t, I didn’t know it was an option until like I decided first and then I started to research. And when I decided it was, I was dealing with a horrible hangover on January 19th in 2020, Horrible hangover. Ugh, my God. And my baby was four months old and I had two older kids. And I just remember being on the couch while my life was going on around me. This full life was going on around me and I was missing it. And then I just thought, no, okay, I’m done. It was kind of an out of body experience. I, I hadn’t been thinking about it. It really is something that when people say, when you know, you just know.
(23:46)
And that doesn’t mean that I knew how to be done. So I think that’s important cuz I didn’t have it all figured out. I didn’t have anything figured out. The only thing I had figured out was that I didn’t wanna feel like that again. And I knew that alcohol made me feel like that. And so if I didn’t wanna feel like that again, I was done with alcohol because I knew that if I continued to let alcohol into my life, I would feel like that again. So that’s the only thing I knew when I said I’m done, I didn’t know anything else. I didn’t even know what that meant. I didn’t know that it meant, you know, I had the thought shit, does that mean I’m an alcoholic? Oh my God, do I have to go to aa? I would just terrified. But if I had waited till to figure all of that shit out, I wouldn’t have quit because that took a long time.
(24:41)
I’m still figuring the shit out. You don’t have to have that all figured out. You don’t, you don’t have to have it figured out in order for you to say that you’re done with alcohol. That’s the only answer you need. The rest can come, you’ll find a way and you’ll figure out what sobriety means to you, what makes you feel strong in sobriety, what you wanna leave by the wayside. Like you will figure out your path in sobriety. You do not need to know it when you decide that you’re done with alcohol. Okay? There’s a question about here about cravings. I did talk about that in the first ask me anything from last month. So go check that out. I’ll just say, no, I don’t crave alcohol. Just like I don’t crave cigarettes. I don’t think I craved it in early sobriety either. I, I probably craved the feeling and the comfort that I thought it brought me.
(25:34)
And the way that I got out of that was I quickly, any time that I like romanticized red wine, I quickly, my mind went to that morning on the couch. And so I think it’s easy for us to divorce those. Like when your hangover dissolves, then you divorce the hangover from the alcohol, right? You’re like, oh yeah, like you just forget. It’s kind of like having a baby <laugh> only not good. And so like having a baby hurts, right? Like giving birth hurts and it’s painful and it’s awful but it’s also beautiful. But the pain is awful but we forget how much it hurts, which is why we have more babies. Hangovers are like that but like bad <laugh> you guys, Does that make sense? Does that make sense to anyone else or just me? Yeah. And so I did not let those two things, I did not divorce alcohol from the hangover in my mind and I still haven’t, any time I try to romanticize like, oh, red wine in Italy or you know, anything, it’s like I immediately go back to the hangover on the couch and the day day that I was missing my life.
(26:46)
And I refuse, I refuse to let that happen ever again. Okay, now we’re going to the Facebook group and there are questions there. Okay, so the power of self forgiveness. If you drink and have a day one again, Oh guys, I get this, I don’t count days, but I totally understand those who do and I understand how important that is. I do want you to think about though, I want you to think about for yourself, if counting days, does that make you feel empowered? And is that empowering for you in your sobriety? Or does it feel punitive? Because I do know that some people, you know, they love to check off that day on the calendar and it’s like, yes, one more day down. And yes, like it’s that engine that drives their sobriety is the, is the ticking off the days and the, the milestone, the daily milestones and the hundred day milestones and then the like.
(27:46)
I get it. I totally understand that. But I also think that for a lot of people, counting days feels more punitive than empowering and it feels like there it’s not enough. And God, I’m at day one again, I’m such a loser if I’m at day one and I, I just don’t think that that if county days feels punitive to you, I think you need to think of another way to count success in sobriety. And so maybe success and sobriety for you is not about how many days you can line up in a row. Maybe that’s not it. Maybe for now, that’s not what success is for you and that’s not how you feel strong in sobriety and that’s okay. There are no rules. Remember, you are trying to figure out your path forward in sobriety and what is going to empower you and inspire you to live a full sober life.
(28:46)
And this is just a journey toward that. And so if counting days leads you to judgment of yourself and just negative self talk, then fuck counting days then we’re, we’re not gonna count days anymore. Then one thing that I like to think of, because I always think the firsts are the hardest and that’s how it was for me. And so, you know, the first Christmas, the first New Year’s, the first holidays, but also the first hard witching hour, the first date night, the first pumpkin patch without a spiced apple cider, the first trick or treating without a beer, the first anything. What if you made a list of the firsts that would make you feel so damn proud of yourself to do sober? What if you made a list of 10 firsts that you wanna check off? You know, take a look at the next three months, like how do you get through this, these holidays and what firsts do you have ahead of you?
(29:56)
And what if you made a list and make it big, like put it on poster board or put it on a huge piece of paper, hang it up where you can see it. And what if you just made a checklist of those firsts and you focus on one at a time and as soon as you do that thing sober, as soon as you experience that event sober, you put a big pink check mark in it or you put a smiley face sticker or you put a heart in that box or whatever it is and you just continue to think about what firsts you wanna experience in sobriety. So you’re not counting days and you know, I don’t know what happens in between the firsts. I don’t know if then you decide to have a glass of wine to see how that feels, but you’re not punished for that.
(30:47)
You don’t have to start over cuz it’s, you’re not starting over. You’re learning. This is, this is a long game. Okay? And so my feeling is that once you see those firsts and once you are rewarded with that little smiley face in the box with a little heart that is gonna propel you to live a full happy sober life, it’s not gonna be those days that you have to tick off and that you screw up and then you’re gonna have to start over. It’s not that, cuz that’s not what it’s about. This isn’t about numbers. Try that guys, and then let me know, let me know how that feels. I think for me that would feel way more empowering than just a, a number and a day. And if the numbers work for you and if the county days work, great, Do that. Do that.
(31:42)
Continue to cross those days off the calendar and celebrate those milestone days. But if that does not work for you, that’s all that means. That just means it doesn’t work for you and you gotta find something that does. Okay. Did you start to plan less friend events to avoid? Well, like I said, it was in a pandemic. And so I think this is another thing that’s like, what do you need in your early sobriety? If you need to hold up in your house and to say no to events, that is completely fine. Do that and just know that it won’t be forever. You will know when it’s time, when you, when you want to start going out again goes, I actually like to go with friends who drink because it, it always just validates my decision not to drink. And I know that sounds kind of judgemental and I don’t mean it that way.
(32:33)
I just mean that man. There’s nothing that makes me wanna drink less than a, a whole room full of people who are drinking. It’s easy to romanticize alcohol when you’re not by it. But when you get up close to alcohol when you’re not drinking and you have a clear mind and you see the effects of alcohol, I don’t think there’s anything <laugh> more, I don’t know. Nothing inspires me in my sobriety more than seeing a room full of people who have been drinking. Let’s just say that <laugh>. Okay. I’d love to hear more about and maybe even contribute to lives of stay-at-home moms and how it contributed to my alcoholism a job. Not a lot of people understand. O I know. Well first of all, you need to come on the podcast because I would love to talk about it. That’s why I started this whole thing, especially in the pandemic.
(33:25)
Like look at what we went through as moms and especially stay-at-home moms and I, I’m not saying that work working moms didn’t go through a lot too. We all went through a lot. I can only talk to stay-at-home moms cuz that’s what I am. And holy shit, I don’t care if you didn’t have a, a huge loss or catastrophe in 2020 during the pandemic. You know, I think we have to get out of the mindset as like if if you didn’t lose anything, if you didn’t, you know, lose anyone to covid, then you got out of the pandemic. And yes, like I, I feel horrible for people who lost people to covid, but we also need to talk about what we went through with the pandemic when our village was suddenly gone and as stay-at-home moms when we were just on our own, on our own scared, holding our worlds together, holding ourselves together for our kids.
(34:21)
I know my husband continued to go to work and so we did the impossible, which of course we did. That’s what moms do. We always do the impossible. But I think it took a toll, it’s toll on us of course. And it’s not at all surprising that more moms than never turned to alcohol because I mean, of course, of course. I think I just got lucky that I stopped drinking before the pandemic because I know I would’ve been one of them. I know I would’ve, and I think this is a way bigger conversation than I can even talk about in this episode. I, I would love to have a whole episode on this. I I just wanna say, if you’re a stay at home mom who struggled during the pandemic, who turned to alcohol to God just for a little escape, just for something to look forward to, just to try to forget those fucking hard days and nights.
(35:23)
I get it. I get it. And you’re not alone at all. You’re not alone in that. And there’s also no shame in that. There’s no shame in thinking that alcohol would help because we have been taught and we have been tricked into thinking that it does. And so now you’re here, you’re probably listening to this because maybe you’re thinking that it might not, that alcohol might not be what they say it does and maybe it doesn’t do what they say it does. And I hope that you’ll listen to these episodes and I hope that you start to think that, Yeah, wait a second. Maybe alcohol’s making motherhood harder cause damn motherhood’s hard enough. And maybe instead of a glass of wine, maybe what do I really need? Maybe I really need a chat with my best friend to talk about how fucking hard this is.
(36:20)
Maybe I need someone to listen to me, who’s not gonna judge me when I say my kid’s being an asshole today. I need someone to say, Oh my God, mine too. Maybe I need a vacation. Maybe I need a break. Maybe I need a nap. Maybe I need, uh, just a hot shower when no one comes in and talks to me through the shower. Cause I can’t fucking hear them. <laugh>. Maybe I need to be able to go to the bathroom in peace like my husband. Maybe I wanna spend 15 minutes in the bathroom too. Maybe I need, maybe I need jeans that fit. Maybe I need some water <laugh>. Maybe I need a massage. Maybe I need my village. Maybe I need to hire a cleaning lady so I don’t have to clean toilets anymore. Maybe I need, oh God, you guys, the list goes on and on and on.
(37:14)
I think that stay at home moms were expected to do the impossible during the pandemic. And I think that we did it, but now I think our mental health is paying a price and I think that alcohol is just making it worse. And so my hope for this podcast is that you can come to this podcast, put your AirPods in when your kids are driving you crazy, Turn it up so you can’t hear them. And just listen, listen to the stories of the moms who are like you and who decided. Maybe there’s a different way. You guys, I’ve, I’ve talked now for 45 minutes. Georgia’s asleep. My coffee is still kind hot, my candle’s still going. I wanna thank you all so much. My closet has become my safe haven in large part due to this podcast and being able to come on here and connect with you.
(38:08)
So I just thank you so much. I thank you for listening and sharing and your messages. I I read them all. Please come and connect with me on Sober Mom life on Instagram and let me know, let me know what questions you have or what tips you have or anything that’s inspired you. Let me know if you’ve stopped counting days and you’ve started counting the firsts. Yeah, I wanna, I wanna hear from all of you, so thank you once again. I can’t say it enough. Thank you so much and let’s have a good week. Okay, Bye. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of The Sober Mom Life. If you loved it, please rate and review it wherever you listen. Five stars is amazing. Also, follow me on Instagram at the sober mom life. Okay, I’ll see you next week. I’m gonna go reheat my coffee. Bye.
