• Looks
    • Winter
    • Spring
    • Summer
    • Fall
  • My Kind Of Sweet Home
  • Beauty
    • Skincare
    • Hair
    • Makeup
  • Motherhood
    • #momlife
    • Pregnancy
      • Bump Updates
    • Postpartum
  • Shop My Instagram + IG Stories
    • Instagram
  • Shop Our House
    • MUDROOM
    • KITCHEN
    • MY HOME OFFICE
    • PLAYROOM
  • 2020 Holiday Gift Guide
    • Gift Guide | For The Guy Who Has Everything
    • Gift Guide | For Him Under $250
    • Holiday Gift Guide | Stocking Stuffers For Him
    • Gift Guide | Baby’s First Christmas Gift Ideas
    • Gift Guide | Toddler Gift Ideas
    • Gift Guide | Preschoolers Gift Ideas
    • Gift Guide | For Big Kids
    • Gift Guide | Play For All Ages

my kind of sweet

Normalizing the #momlife struggle. finding joy, humor + style in the chaos...

Uncategorized

Spontaneously Sober.

June 25, 2020

Spontaneously Sober.

I’m not sure where to start, so I’ll just start today.

As of today, I’ve been alcohol-free for more than 5 months.

I’ve been wanting to share this news, but I’ve felt so torn. Wasn’t I supposed to wait until I had more “sober time” under my belt? Wasn’t I supposed to be anonymous about this whole thing? Wouldn’t sharing my current sobriety journey be breaking the rules?

I’m not sure about the rules, but I do know that I want to be open and unashamed.

So, in the spirit of vulnerability, authenticity and a whole lot of courage, here I am.

Today, I’ll tell you how I got here…


In college and in my 20’s, drinking was a mainstay. My girlfriends and I were on the Thursday night to Saturday night ride and I was more than happy to hop on. It was socially acceptable, even encouraged, to binge drink on the weekends. Sundays were spent nursing our hangovers and collectively attempting to piece together the weekend. (Now I often look back on those years, wondering how we made it through unscathed, and how different things would have been if we’d been sober.)

Once I hit my 30’s, got married at 33 and had my first baby at 34 years old, I was more than happy to close that chapter. I welcomed the slower pace and the consistency and my heart was content and happiest at home with my family.

Drinking was reserved for date nights, dinners out with friends and special occasions. Even then, I was fine to have a glass of red wine or two and call it a night.

However, two or three times since becoming a mom almost 6 years ago, I had more drinks than I had intended. I’d wake up the next morning filled with shame and regret, my head throbbing and my heart pounding out of my chest.

January 18th of this year was one of those times.

Nothing groundbreaking happened.

I didn’t hit “bottom.”

But, I knew I was done.

The next morning, I told my husband that I was done. No more drinking. I just didn’t want to do it anymore. I wanted to be better to myself and my body. No more.

I didn’t learn this until a few Quit Lit book and a handful of sober podcasts later, but I was considered a “Gray Area Drinker.”

Gray Area drinkers fall in between the two extremes of a heavy drinker who is *this* close to hitting rock bottom and the person who drinks champagne only a few times a year because it’s bad luck to toast with water.

Almost everyone I know is a Gray Area drinker.

I certainly fell into this category and I had never considered quitting drinking before I…quit drinking. This is what Annie Grace, in her book The Naked Mind, calls “spontaneously sober.”

In Laura McKowen’s book We Are The Luckiest, she writes: Asking if you’re an alcoholic is “the wrong damn question.“

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Once I read that, it all made sense.

The term “alcoholic” has never resonated with me. Immediately, my mind goes to Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas.

That definitely wasn’t me.

I never drank in the morning. I could stop drinking after 1 or 2 drinks. Alcohol did not factor into my day to day life. I could go weeks without drinking or even thinking about drinking.

Still, I had times when I drank more than I had intended, and that didn’t sit well with me. Especially now…with so much to have and to hold.

I decided to ask myself a different question:

Would my life be better without alcohol?

YES.

Undoubtedly.

YES.

So, I stopped drinking.

And so far, I haven’t looked back.

I have no plans to go to AA. I have no plans to stand up in front of a group of people, declaring myself an alcoholic. Counting days and being perpetually tied to alcohol doesn’t sit well with me.

Alcohol doesn’t have power over me anymore because I’m no longer drinking it. I’m not *this* close to having a drink. My life didn’t get smaller when I stopped drinking and I don’t feel like I’m missing out.

I’m not sure where this journey will take me, but I do know that today I’m happier and feel more fulfilled without alcohol.

I’ll continue to share my new sober life on here. I hope you’ll come along for the ride…

XO

Note : I belong the The Luckiest Club, which is an online sobriety community. If you’re looking for support, I highly recommend it.


SOBER CURIOUS? HERE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS + PODCASTS…

  • This Naked Mind by Annie Grace | Find out how we’ve been taught to believe that alcohol is “good” for us. This book will change how you think about alcohol – consciously AND unconsciously.
  • We Are The Luckiest by Laura McKowen | I will sing this book’s praises forever. The most beautifully written story of sobriety.
  • The Seltzer Squad podcast | A new find – I love listening because the girls keep it real and…gasp – they are still cool without alcohol.
  • Recovering From Reality | When pop culture and sobriety collide. Anyone remember the reality show Pretty Wild? Alexis from the show is now 10 years sober and has such a refreshing take on sobriety.
by suzanne 
14 Comments

About suzanne

View all posts by suzanne

Related Posts

  • Wednesday Wishlist: All Things Pink
  • The Sweet Edit | No. 15
  • Wednesday Wishlist: Summer Stripes
  • After Christmas Sales + Craziness
previous article: Organization Favorites
next article: The Friday Five | June Week 4

Comments

  1. Kathleen Finis says: June 25, 2020 at 8:22 am

    This is great and it all makes sense! There is a lot of science behind the health of your brain and NOT drinking. Your brain appreciates you stepping away. Clearly, all of you appreciates you stepping away.

    Someone pointed out to me how much pressure there is on women to drink. Everything is about needing a glass of wine, vodka, etc. it’s on memes, greeting cards and so many references. I started paying attention and it’s true. Female, adult peer pressure.

    This was a great insight for you and your soul. Now you can take a few of those calories and eat extra caramel M&Ms!

    Blessings.

    Reply
    • suzanne says: June 25, 2020 at 8:37 am

      Yes! Once you start realizing the pressure, you see it everywhere – even on tees at Target. Thank you for the support! And I like the way you think 😉 xo

      Reply
  2. Kathy says: June 25, 2020 at 10:13 am

    Your writing has a beautiful “voice.” You explain your heart so well. This piece will help people. Thank you.

    Reply
    • suzanne says: June 27, 2020 at 5:42 am

      Thank you so much for your support, Kathy. I truly appreciate it. xo

      Reply
  3. Mischel Larson says: June 25, 2020 at 11:01 am

    I just started reading sobriety books too. I am right where you are. Love this and makes me feel like I’m not alone!

    Reply
    • suzanne says: June 27, 2020 at 5:42 am

      Thank you for sharing this Mischel. You are definitely NOT alone. xo

      Reply
  4. Ella says: June 25, 2020 at 1:02 pm

    Thank you for sharing and being open about this. I’ve had similar thoughts over and over. I didn’t like when I started waiting till 4pm so I could have my glass of rosé because “rose all day” and I’m a mom and we deserve that glass of wine. It hit me one day that I may not be a full fledged alcoholic but my life often revolves around alcohol…in the evening, social outings, beach days…I quit in January and started drinking tea and then I don’t know when but fell back in the habit in April (prob mid quarantine) and I don’t like it, I think getting back on the seltzer and tea wagon in the evenings needs to be my jam. Just checked out the books you recommended, will listen/read for sure. Thank you again, Suzanne.

    Reply
  5. J says: June 25, 2020 at 2:50 pm

    Lavender chamomile tea is so relaxing at the end of the night, you get that warm relaxed feeling!

    Reply
  6. Petros says: June 25, 2020 at 5:39 pm

    I appreciate your candor and the resources you have on. I just would like to emphasize that in sober circles there are elements of systemic racism as well, just like the other side of the spectrum. Being sober and black has varied connotations. Most of the resources available are whitecentric other than AA which is international, but not for everyone. The journey continues.Sober.
    https://www.thetemper.com/recovering-while-black/

    Reply
  7. Miccaela O'Reilly says: June 26, 2020 at 8:28 am

    Thanks for your imput & sharing your book. But, Alcoholism Is a Disease and Must be treated by attending Mtgs & Sponsorship.

    Reply
    • suzanne says: June 26, 2020 at 8:46 am

      Please don’t make hard and fast rules. Since this is my blog, I am sharing MY story. Everyone’s path is different and there are SO many areas of gray.

      Reply
      • Breanna says: June 26, 2020 at 9:30 am

        Well done! Alcoholism is hard enough, telling people there is only one way to treat their addiction is incredibly counterproductive . Suzanne, thank you for sharing your story!

        Reply
  8. Amy says: June 28, 2020 at 6:43 pm

    Thx for this post. Life for me w/out alcohol is so much better. I love waking up every single day ready to go, not guilty from too much the night b/4.

    Reply
  9. Sarah says: July 5, 2020 at 11:38 am

    Thank you for sharing your story in such a vulnerable way! I decided to stop drinking in much your same way. I wasn’t addicted, didn’t need it, didn’t think about drinking really except when my friends would get together we would drink. Then one of my friends told me once when I was VERY tipsy, “my favorite kind of you is tipsy you”. Wow! I decided I was good enough and fun just as I am without alcohol. Haven’t looked back. I struggle to spend time with that group of friends now but I’m perfectly ok with that!

    Reply

Leave Your Comments Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




HI! I’M SUZANNE…

After working as a fashion executive for almost a decade, I’m now a stay at home mama to 3 kids and live on the North Shore of Chicago. I spend my days shopping online, decorating my new home and trying to get in a good workout, all while trying to play with my kids and getting the baby to sleep. Mom life is hard, but it can be sweet… XO

  • View mykindofsweetblog’s profile on Facebook
  • View mykindofsweet’s profile on Twitter
  • View mykindofsweet’s profile on Instagram
  • View suzanneknower’s profile on Pinterest

SHOP MY INSTAGRAM + STORIES

Sign up and follow along!

Gain access to the exclusive private Facebook group and connect with other stylish mamas! Plus tips, tricks, giveaways + more!

Subscribe to:

WINTER FAVORITES

BEAUTY FAVORITES

My Kind of Sweet - Finding Style In Motherhood

Popular Posts

  • The Friday Five | January 22
    The Friday Five | January 22
  • 10 "Lazy" Mom Outfits That Are Still Stylish (No Denim Allowed)
    10 "Lazy" Mom Outfits That Are Still Stylish (No Denim Allowed)
  • How To: Beachy Waves For Fine Hair + My Favorite Hair Products
    How To: Beachy Waves For Fine Hair + My Favorite Hair Products
  • Botox: Advice, Regrets And Before + After
    Botox: Advice, Regrets And Before + After
  • 20 Outfits For STAYING HOME
    20 Outfits For STAYING HOME

Archives

Ahalogy Badge Everywhere

DISCLOSURE

My Kind of Sweet is part of several affiliate advertising programs. This means that if you click and/or make a purchase through certain links, I may make a commission. All opinions are my own. For collaborations + advertising opportunities, please contact mykindofsweet@gmail.com

mykindofsweet

Sharing #momlife one outfit, cup of coffee + imperfection at a time.  Also home decor #mykindofsweethome +
@thesobermomlife bc wine doesn’t help. 🖤

suzanne
Does anyone else feel like a million pounds lighte Does anyone else feel like a million pounds lighter today?? It’s like the dark clouds have lifted and my anxiety has gone down to a 7 out of 10. (I mean, bc the pandemic and all. But still. Better.) 🙌🏻 💙
 
I shared our entryway decor (these faux cherry branches are GORG) + my fav cardigan today on mykindofsweet.com! Shop this post here —> http://liketk.it/36wPp + follow me in the LTK app for exclusive content 🖤 #mykindofsweethome  📷 @ironandhoney
Finally. I can exhale. 💙    I watched today Finally. I can exhale. 💙 
 
I watched today’s Inauguration of President Joe Biden and Madam Vice President Kamala Harris with tears streaming down my face and my 6 year old daughter at my side.  
 
She didn’t quite understand what was happening, but when I explained to her that Kamala Harris is the first GIRL Vice President, her eyes went wide with possibility.  
 
Our little ones are watching and for the first time in 4 years, I am so proud of what they’re seeing.  
 
It’s a new day.  
 
💙🇺🇸❤️
I’m one year sober today.     365 days alcoh I’m one year sober today.  
 
365 days alcohol free. And I’m so damn proud.  
 
When I first shared my story in June, I received some push back: 
 
“If you’re not an alcoholic, why do you feel the need to give up alcohol?” 
“ARE you an alcoholic?” 
“Stop spreading the message that giving up alcohol is easy. For alcoholics, it’s not.” 
 
As with all things I share, I can only write about my experience.  
 
I only had to ask myself one question when it came to alcohol: DID IT MAKE MY LIFE BETTER? 
 
In every single instance, the answer was NO.  
 
Alcohol didn’t help my anxiety. (It made it worse.) 
 
Alcohol didn’t make me more fun. (I’m already pretty damn fun on my own.) 
 
Alcohol didn’t help me connect with others. (How could I truly connect when all of my senses were dulled?)  
 
Alcohol didn’t improve my health. (Umm, it’s poison. It’s LITERALLY ethanol. Like, what we put in cars. And no. It’s not good for heart health.)  
 
It was clear. Alcohol just didn’t make sense for me anymore.  
 
Plus, I’d given alcohol 20 years of my life. Didn’t I owe it to myself to see what life could be like without it?  
 
A year in and I wake up grateful every single day that I broke up with alcohol.  
 
You don’t have to be an alcoholic to STOP drinking alcohol.  
 
It doesn’t have to make sense to your friends or your loved ones.  
 
You don’t have to have all of the answers or know how the story ends.  
 
You can just...start. Give it a chance. It might just be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself.  
 
🖤
My caption game is weak tonight (I blame the kids My caption game is weak tonight (I blame the kids bc #momlife), so here’s what I’ve got:  One of my fav winter coats is on sale! It’s flattering and not bulky but super cozy + warm. 🙌🏻 I’m wearing XS.  ALSO (and more importantly), swipe to see Baby Gray tonight trying to say “I love you.” 😍😍  It really is all in the little moments, isn’t it? 🖤  Shop this pic here —> http://liketk.it/36d9Q + follow me in the LTK app for exclusive content 😘
Stop saying this is the “new normal.”     Stop saying this is the “new normal.”  
 
This is not normal. None of this feels normal. And it shouldn’t.  
 
It is not normal to be isolated, away from family and friends.  
 
It is not normal to carry the mental load of keeping our families safe from an invisible virus.  
 
It is not normal to work from home, while also taking care of little ones and trying to manage e-learning.  
 
It is not normal to have to choose between our mental health and our physical health.  
 
It is not normal to have our lives put on hold for 10+ months.  
 
This. Is. Not. Normal.  
 
If you are struggling through this time, THAT is normal. 
 
If your breakdowns are more frequent. If you feel overwhelmed. If you are bone tired. If your mind races with anxiety and if depression weighs you down.  
 
THAT is normal.  
 
We are living through a pandemic. Go easy on yourself and remember that survival is the goal.  
 
That’s it.
Literally the only surface of my home that is not Literally the only surface of my home that is not currently covered in toys or STUFF. See stories for real life 👀🤦🏼‍♀️  
  
It’s impeachment eve, y’all. How are you feeling?? I still can’t concentrate on anything else and my anxiety is at like a 16 (out of 10) but other than that it’s all good. 🙄 I’ll be glued to the TV all day tomorrow to watch history. Anyone else??  
  
(These cherry branches are the pink version of the ones I have in our kitchen.  They’re so pretty + a best seller. Shop our entryway decor here —> http://liketk.it/35NEu + follow me in the LTK app for exclusive content) 🖤 #mykindofsweethome
Anyone else finding it impossible to concentrate o Anyone else finding it impossible to concentrate on ANYTHING today?? 🤦🏼‍♀️ For real. Daily tasks. Work. Yoga. It was rough.  
  
But WAIT. There is one thing I’ve been able to waste time thinking about: How do they write off Samantha in the new Sex And The City??? 🤔 So, what you do think?? And will you miss her?? 👇🏻 
 
This lounge set is as soft as butter and I wear it at least once a week. (And by once I mean twice.) It’s less than $60 🙌🏻 Wearing XS. Also my slippers are back in stock! Hands down my favorite pair. 😍 Shop it all here —> http://liketk.it/35K4B
Sunday morning. Baby in a basket. 🖤     #my Sunday morning. Baby in a basket. 🖤  
 
#mykindofsweethome 
 
 Shop this post here —> http://liketk.it/35BSr or at the link in my bio + follow me in the LTK app for exclusive content 😘
Idk, it feels like a good time to post a photo of Idk, it feels like a good time to post a photo of progress. 😉 Swipe to see Gray’s nursery before we painted the black accent wall... 🖤 
 
I’m sharing this post later than I thought based on the week’s horrific events, but I’m excited to finally share Baby Gray’s nursery transformation! It’s a wonder what a little paint will do.  
 
We used Benjamin Moore Black Jack and it’s the perfect warm black. The other walls are Benjamin Moore Paper White. All of the details + links are on mykindofsweet.com 🖤  Shop this post in the LTK app or at the link in my bio 😘
 
#mykindofsweethome
Hi, sweet friends. Checking in. How are you doing? Hi, sweet friends. Checking in. How are you doing?  
   
My heart is heavy. My anxiety is high. I’m exhausted. But still...hopeful. It’s a rollercoaster, right?    
   
I’ve been sharing a lot on stories since the riots at the Capitol and while it’s scary to stand up for what I believe in, I ALWAYS end up feeling like it’s the right thing.    
   
And if you’re new here, HI! I’m so glad you’re here. Normally, I keep it a bit lighter (😉) and share my style, home and #momlife truths. But, I also don’t shy away from talking about the hard things...   
   
OK, off to take a break from the madness and catch up on Housewives.  
 
Will you let me know if they either invoke the 25th or impeach??? Thanks! 😉
Sometimes I like to keep my home decor simple, bu Sometimes I like to keep my home decor simple,  but sometimes it’s more of an over do it or do it over type situation. These cherry blossom branches are a choice and I’m loving them. 🙌🏻  
  
Also I’ve officially decided to say screw it to the IG posting rules and I’m share back to back photos of my kitchen. Who knows what I’ll do next?! 😎  
  
OK. Off to watch Steve Kornacki do the damn thing. 🤩🙌🏻💙🤞🏻 #georgiaonmymind 
  
Shop this pic here —> http://liketk.it/35i3I or at the link in my bio + follow me in the LTK app for exclusive content 🖤 #mykindofsweethome
New year, new kitchen stools.   I love seeing h New year, new kitchen stools. 
 
I love seeing how just small adjustments can make big changes in our home. I swapped out our old stools (they are ivory, from our old house and just didn’t work with the white kitchen) with black stools and I love the difference.  
 
The only down side is that Gray can climb these. So, there’s that. 🤦🏼‍♀️  
 
Swipe to see the before 👀 Shop this post here —> http://liketk.it/35ekB or at the link in my bio + follow me in the LTK app for exclusive content 😘  
 
#mykindofsweethome
Load More... Follow on Instagram
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: There is no connected account for the user 1678150298 Feed will not update.

Copyright © 2021 · Theme by Georgia Lou Studios, customized by Meyne

Copyright © 2021 · Prima Donna on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

Lost your style in the chaos of motherhood?

Sign up to get my 5 simple tips to elevate your mama style!
(It's easier than you think.)

Subscribe to:
{"cookieName":"wBounce","isAggressive":false,"isSitewide":true,"hesitation":"2","openAnimation":"fadeIn","exitAnimation":false,"timer":"","sensitivity":"","cookieExpire":"4","cookieDomain":"","autoFire":"","isAnalyticsEnabled":false}