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my kind of sweet

Normalizing the #momlife struggle. finding joy, humor + style in the chaos...

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Our Decision To Hire A Night Nanny

October 16, 2019

Our Decision To Hire A Night Nanny

Hi, sweet friends! OK, I’m just going to get right into it…

I shared our decision to hire a night nanny on my Instagram Stories last week, and the response was overwhelming.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to talk about it. I knew that I wanted to share that we have a night nanny this time around, but I was afraid. I didn’t know what the response would be. I didn’t know if I would get messages, shaming me for not spending as much time as I could with my last baby. I didn’t know if I would be judged. 

Well, I should have known better. 

You guys came through big time with messages of support and love. Why did I have any doubt? 

Our Decision To Hire A Night Nanny

I just can’t get enough of that sweet face. (During appropriate wakeful hours.)

I’ll start at the beginning. 

If you’ve been around here for awhile, you are familiar with my story of Postpartum Anxiety. (If not, you can read more about it here.) I struggled with it after the birth of my first babe. I was extremely sleep-deprived, which I have no doubt contributed to my struggles. 

Since then, I’ve become set on making a sleep a priority, not only for myself, but for my entire family. There’s a reason that sleep deprivation is the most effective form of torture. If you’ve had a baby and been the sole caregiver and feeder (meaning breastfeeding a baby who won’t take a bottle), you know exactly what I mean. Those first few months make the few sleepless all nighters in college look like child’s play. 

(A quick note – I’ve never expected my husband to wake up with the baby. He often works late into the night in his home office, only to get up early in the morning to head to the office. And actually, my goal for him is to get him to sleep MORE, not less.) 

When I got pregnant with my second baby, I made sure my mom could come and help. Since we don’t have family nearby, we were so thankful she was able to take a few months off of work to help me get through the fourth trimester. It was still tough, but I had some support during the night and it was so helpful. 

This time around, I didn’t expect my mom to take that time off. I knew it was hard on her, and I didn’t want her to go through that again.

But, I also knew I couldn’t do it alone. I couldn’t be up with the baby all night and then be “on” with my girls during the day. I also know that so many moms do that, while also working full time jobs. And to them, I say: YOU ROCK. I am in absolute awe. For real.

But, I know my limits. And propelled by the fear of postpartum anxiety striking again, I know when to say, I NEED HELP.

So, when I got pregnant the third time last December, I immediately began the conversation with my husband. Which, honestly, surprised both me and him. I had never considered hiring a night nanny before. Because I didn’t have to. But this time, I needed to figure something out. 

We were both wary of having a stranger in our home at night, taking care of our boy. But as we met and interviewed a few nannies, we slowly got used to the idea. 

It was a long road to get here, but now 6 weeks after the birth of our baby boy and we are SO glad that we took the leap and hired a night nanny. I can’t tell you the peace of mind it gives me knowing that I have help at night. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made. 

When I talked about it last week, you guys had a lot of questions…

HOW DID YOU FIND YOUR NIGHT NANNY? 

This was by far the most asked question. Many of our friends in the area have used night nannies, so I knew that getting a referral was the way to go. I asked one of my close mama friends if she liked her night nanny, and she couldn’t say enough good. So, I reached out to the agency she used. We are using Sweet Dreams Infant Care and have been very impressed. 

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?

A quick online search shows that cost varies. There are two options: a night nanny and a night nurse. Since our boy didn’t have a medical need for a nurse (thank God), we opted for a night nanny. It’s $35/hour. 

WHEN DOES SHE COME?

Again, this just depends on what you need. Since I like to go to bed early and get up early, I chose to have her come 9pm-5am, Sunday – Thursday. I didn’t feel like I wanted help 7 nights a week (why? I’m not sure.). And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t dread the weekends a littttttle bit lately.

DO YOU STILL BREASTFEED THE BABY DURING THE NIGHT?

Yes. This is a totally personal choice. I could pump and they would give the baby a bottle, but then I’d still have to get up to pump. I’d much rather nurse my sweet babe than wake up to pump. Also since this is my last baby, I really want to soak it up and don’t want to give up that middle of the night nursing session just yet. 

OK, SO THEN WHAT DOES SHE DO?

A lot of people asked this, and I feel like their babies must have been great sleepers. Ha. She does all of the other stuff that babies need during the night. She’ll change his diaper, hold him upright after I nurse him to make sure to get out the burbs, give him his pacifier if he’s fussy and walk him around if he just can’t get comfortable. To give you an idea, here are her notes from a few nights ago:

 

HOW DOES SHE WAKE YOU UP AND WHERE DO YOU NURSE THE BABY?

Because we have our 5 year old in bed with us at night (NOT by choice, but one sleep problem at a time, please), I knew I didn’t want to nurse the baby in bed. So when it’s time to nurse, she will crack my door open and whisper to wake me up. Then, I get up and go to nurse him in his nursery. I like it because then I’m awake enough to make sure he’s nice and full. She will go downstairs while I nurse him and I text her when I’m done.

WHERE DOES THE BABY SLEEP?

For the first 6 weeks, he slept in the 4moms playard in our family room. Since he was being watched, I felt comfortable having him sleep in the Dock-A-Tot in the playard. He loves to sleep with his arms up, so this swaddle has been awesome.

I just last night moved him to the crib. It was becoming obvious that the noise and lights in the family room were starting to distract him. The night was rough, but I know it will get better. He’s no longer in the Dock-A-Tot, but is still swaddled.

WHAT DOES SHE DO WHILE THE BABY IS SLEEPING?

This is why I love Sweet Dreams: they don’t allow sleeping. A lot of night nannies sleep while the baby sleeps, but I feel way more comfortable knowing that she’s awake and can tend to him when he needs it. She will do the dishes (amazing) and do his laundry. Some nights there is more downtime, and then she watches Friends on her iPad, which I’m totally on board with. 🙂

HOW LONG WILL YOU HAVE HER?

This was something that we struggled with as we were getting ready to sign the contract. How do we know how long we will need her? We decided to start with 2 months. Well, we have already extended it to 3 months. I don’t think we’ll extend it longer than that. 

 

I hope this helps if you’re trying to decide whether or not to hire a night nanny! Please feel free to leave a comment below with your experience or if you have any questions… 

XO

 

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Our Decision To Hire A Night Nanny

by suzanne 
4 Comments

About suzanne

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Comments

  1. B says: October 16, 2019 at 10:07 am

    Thank you for this post! You have given my husband and I another dimension to our discussions of adding a third baby to our family. Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s incredibly helpful!

    Great job!

    Reply
  2. Cayla says: October 16, 2019 at 11:02 am

    I had a baby girl on 10/2 and am doing the same thing for many of the reasons you listed. I wish every family who wanted this type of service could have access to it. It’s a lifesaver!

    Reply
  3. Alice M. Pirola says: October 16, 2019 at 12:21 pm

    Suzanne, I have been checking in on your blog periodically. I am so happy at your practical and necessary decision to hire a nanny! To make you feel better, although I know you already feel fine with your decision… back in 1990-91, when our daughter was born and I was working full-time, as was my husband, we made the decision as well. I don’t know that we had thought or heard of a night nanny before, which is such a great concept! Our nanny took care of our one and only child during the day, did the dishes, cooked & prepped dinner, did laundry and light housekeeping. This way when my husband and I were back from work all we had to focus on was our child and each other. We only had the nanny for a couple of years, but to my husband and I knew it was the right decision even back then. All the chore stuff was done and we could relax and settle in for the night, when we were done working. Good luck to you sweet lady. I again admire your tenacity and level-headedness in making decisions that will serve you well now and later in life. God bless, Alice

    Reply
  4. Beth says: October 16, 2019 at 1:57 pm

    Do not feel guilty about having help! It is a luxury, but if you can afford it, why not make life easier? I had live-in housekeepers for ten years when I lived in California, which was not unusual in our community there, and I loved it. They cleaned, made meals, did laundry, babysat and otherwise entertained the kids, whatever I wanted. I felt like it was a huge extravagance at first, but got to enjoy having help and not feeling as harried as other moms who try to do it all.
    (Not possible – time is time and it’s finite.) As an older friend told me at the time, having help allows you to enjoy your children.

    Reply

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HI! I’M SUZANNE…

After working as a fashion executive for almost a decade, I’m now a stay at home mama to 3 kids and live on the North Shore of Chicago. I spend my days shopping online, decorating my new home and trying to get in a good workout, all while trying to play with my kids and getting the baby to sleep. Mom life is hard, but it can be sweet… XO

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Sharing #momlife one outfit, cup of coffee + imperfection at a time.  Also home decor #mykindofsweethome +
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Stop saying this is the “new normal.”     Stop saying this is the “new normal.”  
 
This is not normal. None of this feels normal. And it shouldn’t.  
 
It is not normal to be isolated, away from family and friends.  
 
It is not normal to carry the mental load of keeping our families safe from an invisible virus.  
 
It is not normal to work from home, while also taking care of little ones and trying to manage e-learning.  
 
It is not normal to have to choose between our mental health and our physical health.  
 
It is not normal to have our lives put on hold for 10+ months.  
 
This. Is. Not. Normal.  
 
If you are struggling through this time, THAT is normal. 
 
If your breakdowns are more frequent. If you feel overwhelmed. If you are bone tired. If your mind races with anxiety and if depression weighs you down.  
 
THAT is normal.  
 
We are living through a pandemic. Go easy on yourself and remember that survival is the goal.  
 
That’s it.
Literally the only surface of my home that is not Literally the only surface of my home that is not currently covered in toys or STUFF. See stories for real life 👀🤦🏼‍♀️  
  
It’s impeachment eve, y’all. How are you feeling?? I still can’t concentrate on anything else and my anxiety is at like a 16 (out of 10) but other than that it’s all good. 🙄 I’ll be glued to the TV all day tomorrow to watch history. Anyone else??  
  
(These cherry branches are the pink version of the ones I have in our kitchen.  They’re so pretty + a best seller. Shop our entryway decor here —> http://liketk.it/35NEu + follow me in the LTK app for exclusive content) 🖤 #mykindofsweethome
Anyone else finding it impossible to concentrate o Anyone else finding it impossible to concentrate on ANYTHING today?? 🤦🏼‍♀️ For real. Daily tasks. Work. Yoga. It was rough.  
  
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Sunday morning. Baby in a basket. 🖤     #my Sunday morning. Baby in a basket. 🖤  
 
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Idk, it feels like a good time to post a photo of Idk, it feels like a good time to post a photo of progress. 😉 Swipe to see Gray’s nursery before we painted the black accent wall... 🖤 
 
I’m sharing this post later than I thought based on the week’s horrific events, but I’m excited to finally share Baby Gray’s nursery transformation! It’s a wonder what a little paint will do.  
 
We used Benjamin Moore Black Jack and it’s the perfect warm black. The other walls are Benjamin Moore Paper White. All of the details + links are on mykindofsweet.com 🖤  Shop this post in the LTK app or at the link in my bio 😘
 
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Hi, sweet friends. Checking in. How are you doing? Hi, sweet friends. Checking in. How are you doing?  
   
My heart is heavy. My anxiety is high. I’m exhausted. But still...hopeful. It’s a rollercoaster, right?    
   
I’ve been sharing a lot on stories since the riots at the Capitol and while it’s scary to stand up for what I believe in, I ALWAYS end up feeling like it’s the right thing.    
   
And if you’re new here, HI! I’m so glad you’re here. Normally, I keep it a bit lighter (😉) and share my style, home and #momlife truths. But, I also don’t shy away from talking about the hard things...   
   
OK, off to take a break from the madness and catch up on Housewives.  
 
Will you let me know if they either invoke the 25th or impeach??? Thanks! 😉
Sometimes I like to keep my home decor simple, bu Sometimes I like to keep my home decor simple,  but sometimes it’s more of an over do it or do it over type situation. These cherry blossom branches are a choice and I’m loving them. 🙌🏻  
  
Also I’ve officially decided to say screw it to the IG posting rules and I’m share back to back photos of my kitchen. Who knows what I’ll do next?! 😎  
  
OK. Off to watch Steve Kornacki do the damn thing. 🤩🙌🏻💙🤞🏻 #georgiaonmymind 
  
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I love seeing how just small adjustments can make big changes in our home. I swapped out our old stools (they are ivory, from our old house and just didn’t work with the white kitchen) with black stools and I love the difference.  
 
The only down side is that Gray can climb these. So, there’s that. 🤦🏼‍♀️  
 
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Our day started like this, and ended with my middl Our day started like this, and ended with my middle girl in the emergency room with what we thought was a broken finger. (It’s not! Thank God.)  
 
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My girl is back home now. She’s all smiles with new stickers from the hospital and cards from her big sister, proudly showing off her little splint on her finger. She is brave and full of life and I couldn’t feel more grateful.  
 
This post is for the mama who has felt the pain of screwing up. (So, it’s for all of us.) I don’t have any advice but to encourage you to talk to your people. Don’t keep it in. Cry. Give yourself grace. And just keep loving those little ones.  
 
Ok. Off to snuggle with my girl.  
 
🖤
Happy New Years Eve, sweet friends! ✨     Be Happy New Years Eve, sweet friends! ✨  
 
Before I fall asleep and fail to make it to midnight, I wanted to take a chance to thank you for all you’ve provided this year. Instagram gets a bad rap, but it truly does feel like we’ve made it through this tough year together.  
 
From our early morning chats over on stories during the first few weeks of the pandemic, to your support when I opened up about my sobriety journey, to our collective joyous sigh when Biden/Harris saved democracy, the community we have created in this corner of the internet is a true bright spot of 2020 for me.  
 
Thank you, thank you. For allowing me to be real and share how tough and beautiful it all can be.  
 
Cheers (sparkling water) to 2021! Here’s to being brave, kind and full of hope.  
 
🖤 
 
(PS - This pic is from January 2020 and LOOK HOW LITTLE 😍) 📷 @ironandhoney
I’m in bed at 830pm, posting a photo of my mudro I’m in bed at 830pm, posting a photo of my mudroom, excited that some of my favorite organization items are on sale, getting ready to rewatch my show. Don’t say I don’t know how to party. 👵🏻 🎉 
 
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