The second edition of Coffee Talk with Suz!
Most of the questions you asked are sobriety related, but there are a few style questions in there, too. I’m doing these at least once a month, so make sure if you have any questions you’d like me to add in the next Coffee Talk, please leave them in the comments below…
As always, thank you for your support of this space!
(This post contains affiliated links.)
WHERE YOU EVER SOMEONE WHO DRANK THE WHOLE BOTTLE OF WINE AT NIGHT? OR JUST ON OCCASION?
Yes, in my 20’s I was definitely that person. I was the party girl who never wanted to party to end. My party days ended with motherhood, and I was actually able to moderate alcohol “successfully,” for the most part. That’s the hard thing about moderation though, right? It works most (or some) of the time. I quit drinking before coming close to hitting rock bottom or losing everything to alcohol, and have found the sweetest freedom in sobriety.
WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE THAT’S COME FROM YOUR SOBRIETY?
Everything. Literally, everything. Before I stopped drinking and did the work to shift my perspective from deprivation to abundance, I actually felt bad for those people who “couldn’t” drink, like consuming alcohol is some sort of privilege. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The freedom and joy I have found in sobriety is unparalleled and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.
WHAT’S THE ONE ITEM YOU’RE INVESTING IN THIS FALL?
Oh, man. This is a tough one because Fall is peak fashion for me. I tend to splurge on either bags or shoes, and I’ve really been into statement shoes lately. I want to get a chic pair of chunky loafers, and so far Prada is leading the pack. I can’t order them online, though, because I have high maintenance feet. Lol.
DOES YOUR HUSBAND DRINK AND IF SO DOES HE GET SAD WHEN YOU DON’T DRINK WITH HIM?
He does still drink, but not nearly as much as he used to in his life before marriage and kids. Also, when I stopped drinking, he couldn’t help but see how wonderful and fulfilling a sober life can be, which has been very helpful in organically decreasing his consumption. We recorded a podcast episode all about it last year, and he will be on the podcast again soon – stay tuned!
Perfect timing! Tawny Lara, The Sober S*xpert, is on The Sober Mom Life podcast this week and she talks about her new book, Dry Humping, which is out in September. (Also how perfect is that title??) In my experience, sober sex is WAY better than tipsy/drunk sex once you get past the awkwardness. It feels much more connected and intimate.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE CUTEST GRAPHIC TEES. CAN YOU SHARE WHERE YOU GET THEM?
My graphic tee weakness is REAL. I need to do a full graphic tee round up post soon! It’s coming. I tend to gravitate toward ivory or black graphic tees lately. Here are some of my current favorites…
HAVE YOU MADE ANY IN PERSON SOBER-MINDED FRIENDS AND HOW?
Yes! We have a group of about 7 women who try to get together once a month. It takes time to build up your sober community, and I know it can be hard. My biggest tip is not to overlook an online community. Most often, those online friendships will form first, and then way leads on to way.
If you’re looking for women who are exploring sobriety and finding freedom from alcohol, come and join The Sober Mom Life Cafe! We have an exclusive Discord chat where you can connect with and chat with women from all over, all day long.
THIS LONG INTO YOUR SOBRIETY, ARE YOU EVER TEMPTED TO HAVE ONE WHEN YOU’RE OUT CELEBRATING?
No. Literally, never. I’m asked this often, and how it’s possible. Over the past 3.5 years, I’ve completely shifted my perspective on alcohol. I no longer look at it as additive to any situation, and consider it no different than cigarettes or, well, poison. I’m not tempted by something I see as highly toxic, addictive and that has the power to ruin everything in its wake.
Now, I choose to celebrate by doing things that won’t make me forget the special moment or pay for my celebration for days after.
WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO DO A WINE-TASTING TRIP AGAIN (LIKE A GIRLS’ TRIP?)
My short answer? Yes.
My long(er) answer? Yes, but you might not want to.
Right now, it sounds like you’re looking at the situation as if you will be missing out if you’re not drinking alcohol. And in a vineyard, that might be the case because that is a very alcohol-forward activity.
In sobriety, we get to zoom out and discover what is actually fun, and what we actually like doing. Will you actually like going to a vineyard and looking at the beautiful sights from seated at a table? Maybe?
If I were to go back to Napa, I would spend my time adventuring, getting massages and shopping. That, to me, sounds like fun. Drinking my way through a stunning town in California sounds like hell to me, 3.5 years into sobriety.
WHAT PHYSICAL CHANGES DID YOU SEE WHEN YOU QUIT DRINKING AND A TIMELINE OF THOSE?
I think it’s important to remember that when I quit drinking, I wasn’t a heavy drinker. I had just had my third baby, so I hadn’t been drinking for almost a year, except the night before I quit.
Still, I think I can still tell you how my body feels after being alcohol-free for more than 3.5 years.
I’ve noticed a huge improvement in my skin – the tone, the texture, the hydration – really everything about it.
My body FEELS better all the time. A lot less aches and pains and random things happening, and a lot more energy and overall motivation.
Also, I’m less bloated and dropped any extra weight much easier. No more drinking empty calories.
The timeline can be really tough to share because everyone is different, but I would say that I noticed most of the changes in the first 100 days after quitting drinking.
WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT WORKOUT ROUTINE?
Since it’s summer, my workout routine has been all over the place, which really means it’s not much of a routine. Lol. And honestly, I struggle when I don’t have a good workout routine in place.
I’m going to save this question for its own post, since I’ll be getting back into the swing of things in a few weeks once the kids are back in school and I can breathe a bit more.
Overall, I love my Shred415 classes (click here to find out if there is a studio near you), my Peloton runs and tread bootcamps (I’ll share my favorites in the upcoming post!), and hot yoga at Lifetime.
I try to workout 4-5 times a week, but this summer has been more like 3 times a week if I’m lucky.