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The 5 Stages of Change (A Patreon Bonus Sneak Peek!)

Podcasts

January 27, 2023

If you’re curious about what goes on in our exclusive Sober Mom Life Patreon community, then this episode is for you! Today my mom, a retired therapist, walks us through the stages of change. 

Interested in joining us on Patreon? There are three support tiers that get you access to a steady stream of bonus content! Learn all about it here: 

http://patreon.com/user?u=84021397

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Transcript:

Speaker 1 (00:04):

Hi, welcome to the Sober Mom Life podcast. I’m your host, Suzanne of my kind of suite and the sober mom life on Instagram. If you are a mama who has questioned your relationship with alcohol at times, if you’re wondering if maybe it’s making motherhood harder, this is for you. I will be having candid, honest, funny conversations with other moms who have also thought, Hmm, maybe motherhood is better without alcohol. Is it possible? We’ll chat and we’ll talk about all things sobriety and how we’ve found freedom in sobriety. I don’t consider myself an alcoholic. You don’t have to either, and maybe life is brighter without alcohol. I hope you will join us on this journey, and I’m so excited to get started.

(00:59)
Hello, happy Friday. We are doing things a little bit differently today. We’re taking a break from the Real Sober Mom Life Bonus series. So we’ve been having those bonus episodes every Friday. We’re taking a little bit of a break from that. Stay tuned for more to come on that and what that’s gonna look like pretty soon. But today, I wanted to share this preview of a Patreon episode. So in case you’re new, we have Patreon, and that’s where all of our bonus content lives. I share at least one bonus episode a week. A lot of them are with my mom, who is a retired therapist. And you can choose which level you would like to support the podcast at the lowest level. That’s the $5 level, $5 a month. We’ll get you all of the bonus content. $7 a month will get you the video episodes of every podcast episode, and then also the $10 episode.

(01:49)
You get a shout out on the podcast. And also stay tuned for a live q and a with my mom, probably once or twice a month. Um, and that’s $10 a month, so stay tuned for that. But I wanted to share the preview of this bonus episode over here on the main feed, because I think that this is such an important one, and I want everyone to hear this. We’re talking about the five stages of change. And this doesn’t just apply to sobriety, it applies to any behavior change. But I think when we’re thinking about sobriety and where we are, this might help you just kind of gather your thoughts. When you’re listening to this episode, I want you to think about where you might be and what stage you’re in as far as changing goes, changing your behavior with alcohol and your relationship with it.

(02:37)
Also, this also helps when you’re thinking about if you have a husband who still drinks or a best friend who still drinks. And I think it’s so important to recognize where someone is in these stages. So my mom says it way better than I just did. I hope you find this helpful. As always, if you love the podcast, if you are finding it helpful, and if it’s becoming a tool in your sobriety journey, please just do me a favor and go rate and review it. Those really help us get in front of more moms who need to hear it. Come and follow me on Instagram at my kind of suite. That is where you will see my full sober life. Um, the sober mom life on Instagram is where you’ll find all things podcast, and then also our Facebook group is just rapidly growing, and that’s the Sober Mom life on Facebook. All of those links are in the show notes as well as the link to go support us on Patreon. We are keeping this space ad free, and that’s how you can support us and get these bonus episodes every week. So I hope you enjoy this episode with my mom.

(03:47)
Okay, welcome to the bonus episode. If you are listening to this. Yay. Yay. Thank you. Thank you for supporting the podcast because of you guys, I’m able to just keep doing this. Keep doing the damn thing. <laugh> <laugh>. We have mom today,

Speaker 2 (04:02):

And we’re so glad.

Speaker 1 (04:03):

We’re so glad. Hi.

Speaker 2 (04:05):

Hi,

Speaker 1 (04:05):

Mom. Hi. Hi, mom. How girl is here? We’re gonna talk another mental health moment if you are new to this Patreon space. Mom is a retired therapist and she knows all about mental health. <laugh> there.

Speaker 2 (04:20):

I do. You

Speaker 1 (04:21):

Too, mom.

Speaker 2 (04:21):

I do everything. There is Janelle.

Speaker 1 (04:24):

She has conquered mental health <laugh>, and so

Speaker 2 (04:27):

We’re, I’ve beaten it into a pulp and rusted it to the ground. <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (04:31):

Yeah. So we are going to talk, mom, what do we decide we’re gonna talk about today?

Speaker 2 (04:37):

I think today we’re gonna talk about the stages of change.

Speaker 1 (04:41):

The stages of change, which could be a sixties song, <laugh>. That sounds like <laugh> Mom’s been playing me. Damn. Georgie girl. Mom’s been playing me a lot of sixties songs, guys, and they sound exactly the same

Speaker 2 (04:55):

<laugh>,

Speaker 1 (04:55):

But I feel like stages of change is a sixties song.

Speaker 2 (04:59):

No,

Speaker 1 (05:00):

But in this case it’s not. It’s very serious. This is nothing to joke about. Very serious. Nothing to joke about.

Speaker 2 (05:05):

It’s very serious. We will not have any joking.

Speaker 1 (05:07):

There’s no laughing when we’re changing <laugh>. Okay. So we’ve talked about this a little bit. If you guys are in the Zoom meetings on Tuesday, this has come up, I think a couple weeks in a row just about how the stages of change can guide us through sobriety. And as, because choosing not to drink is a big change for a lot of us, especially if we’ve been drinking since, I mean, we’re

Speaker 2 (05:34):

18 high school,

Speaker 1 (05:36):

14. Yeah. Yeah. Like definitely our entire adult lives and probably for longer than that. And so change is hard. Um, but this, I, I liked hearing this because it, it brought some sense to the change and it’s just like we’re not just playing willy-nilly with change. It’s like there are actually steps that you go through when you’re changing, which makes it feel like, oh, people have done this before. This has been studied. Yeah. Change is possible. Yes. And there, there are these steps that we go through to change. So let’s talk about the five. What is it, <laugh>?

Speaker 2 (06:12):

It’s, well, there are five steps. Okay. And then there’s a six that we’ll talk, we’ll get

Speaker 1 (06:17):

Into, there’s that trap door,

Speaker 2 (06:18):

But this was Yeah, <laugh>. Yeah, that’s right. This was identified by Prochaska and De Clemente mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And they, they, they are the ones that also, um, developed what’s called motivational interviewing. So we do, you don’t confront people when you want them to change, because all that does is it increases their defensiveness and they’re used to hearing all the bad shit. Yeah. And they don’t wanna hear it. So, um, it’s a

Speaker 1 (06:41):

Recognizing a motivational interviewing lawyers use that too, right? Like you walk them right up to the water, but you don’t have them drink it. Like you, you kind of guide them. Right.

Speaker 2 (06:52):

Right. That’s exactly right. And I think what happened is motivational interviewing be, was a mental health thing, particularly with addictions. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And now it’s expanded. I mean, they use it in doctor’s offices when they’re trying to get somebody to take their diabetic Yeah. Medicine. And they don’t do it. They use it because it, because what it is is you’re joining with the person you’re listening, and you’re not confronting, you just do not confront or go at them Yeah. When you’re trying to get them to do something different than what they are currently doing.

Speaker 1 (07:25):

You guys, we’ll have a whole other episode on this, but this just makes me think about spouses who drink and Yes, that comes up so much. If your spouse still drinks, the, the tactic is not like, well, you still drink and you need to stop drinking, because then they’re just gonna be defensive and argue. And so the Yeah. We’ll have a whole episode about that, but instead of going against them,

Speaker 2 (07:48):

Joining

Speaker 1 (07:49):

Them. Right.

Speaker 2 (07:49):

Yeah. And that’s, and that’s that old school sort of aa, you have to admit first step is admit you’re an alcoholic. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And that’s what kept people, a lot of people away from that, because I’m not, I’m not gonna say that. And so Fuck you. Yes. I’m not doing it.

Speaker 1 (08:05):

Yeah, exactly. Right. That’s what I always have said in my journey, is this idea of AA that just kept me drinking because there’s no way I felt powerless to this thing. And there’s no way I’m gonna declare myself powerless to this. So if that’s the only option, count me out.

Speaker 2 (08:21):

Exactly. Exactly. So with motivational interviewing and recognizing that there are stages of change, the first stage is pre-contemplation. And that’s when you are in this space. Don’t talk to me about a problem. I don’t have a problem. It’s everybody else. If they just back off, if my wife would just leave me alone, it’s her problem that she doesn’t drink at all. So she is all upset about my drinking. It’s not a big deal. So when, when you’re with someone who’s in pre-contemplation, you just cannot confront that because it doesn’t work. Yeah. And so actually what we do as therapists, when some, well, a lot of times peop if they’re in pre-contemplation, they’re not in our office.

Speaker 1 (09:02):

Yeah. Because they’re not even, sometimes they’re so, they’re not, that door is just shut. It’s not even, I’m not thinking about even, even if it is like in the, in their gut, they might, but they’re not even open to seeing any of that.

Speaker 2 (09:14):

Right. Like maybe their wife said, if you don’t go get some help, I’m leaving you. Yeah. Yeah. And so then they come or they’ve got an O W I and they have to go. And so they, but they are not buying in mm-hmm. <affirmative>, they are not a customer. They are not. And so with that, you just, you just join with them. And you know, what I sometimes do is I, I would say, yeah, I don’t see that you have any problem at all. I mean, what, what on earth is the problem? There’s none mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And then that opens the door for them to say, well, you know, my wife is pretty pissed. Yeah. Or, well, I do have

Speaker 1 (09:45):

An O W R. Yeah. There is that one time. So you

Speaker 2 (09:48):

<laugh> That’s right. So you allow space for them to just consider mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And then that leads to the, the contemplation phase. And that’s where they’re ambivalent. And we see a lot of people in this stage. Ah, yeah. Oh, I probably should at least get a handle on it, or, yeah. Yeah. I don’t like when I wake up with a hang, I don’t like that. Oh, man, I spent my whole paycheck and I, whatever. Yeah. Um, so, but then they’re like, yeah, but I, but it’s not that bad. Big of a deal. I can control it. So there’s the, in that phase they’re considering, they’ve got the plus and the minus, and then that’s what we focus on, is like, well, what’s the good stuff? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, what’s the bad stuff? And let’s be honest about it. And then that opens up into the next stage, which is called preparation. Hmm. So I’m now thinking, okay, I probably should stop, but I have no idea what my life would look like if I were drinking. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, all my friends, drink all my activities surrounding by alcohol. I’m just, I just don’t even know what that would look like. That’s a wonderful stage. Yeah. And that’s sort of where, where that’s where you are talking to a lot of people in that stage, sober

Speaker 1 (10:59):

Curious. Right. And they’re still probably drinking because they’re not Yes. Right. They’re not, they’re not ready. That that’s right. They’ve not had that moment of, oh, okay, I’m done. It’s not that it’s like this, oh God, I’m starting to feel and see the effects of alcohol and what it’s done, but I’m not sure there, it’s still

Speaker 2 (11:19):

Probably a lot of, of fear. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:20):

I’m scared, I’m scared. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:21):

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yes. And, and that’s that, that sober curious, when you don’t push them, you just help them sort of imagine what would that be like? And that’s what you do so well in your, in all the stuff that you do, it’s like, okay, let’s think about what would your first 4th of July look like? Right. What would your first wedding look like? Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and, and, and all of this, uh, information and all of this consideration. And that’s, that’s just such a wonderful phase because that

Speaker 1 (11:52):

Stage Yeah. Like that is it, for me, it feels like the most important phase. And I hear from a lot of women in this phase of like, wow, so I’ve been following you, or I’ve just recently realized that I’m drinking more than I’d like to, or just starting to think about how much I’m drinking. And I think that that’s such a, that’s a huge f a huge stage. And I think a lot of times they feel like I should be able just to stop. And I always say like, this is like, this is the m I think that this is the most important stage because probably for the first time in your life, you’re opening the door and you’re examining your, your relationship with alcohol when we’ve never done that before.

Speaker 2 (12:40):

That’s right. And this stage can go for years. Yeah. I mean, it can, it’s not, you know, when you talk about stages, you think in terms of like, okay, I’m gonna do this one for three months. Right. And this one for three, it, you know, we’re not math equations. Right. And we don’t work like that. And so that preparation and, and we can vacillate back and forth between stages, so I can be pre-contemplative. I move from that when I first start thinking, well, maybe,

Speaker 1 (13:05):

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:06):

And then the preparation stage where I’m really trying to gather information, see who else is sober mm-hmm. <affirmative>, which that a again, your sober mom life podcast and your mm-hmm. <affirmative>, your Instagram, all of that stuff is helping people look at, oh, this could be,

Speaker 1 (13:22):

Yeah. Like, oh, wow. This might be a possibility. Like, my life might not be over <laugh>.

Speaker 2 (13:28):

Right. I don’t have to be a dork not to

Speaker 1 (13:30):

Drink. Yeah. I’m not, I’m not a nerd. Right.

Speaker 2 (13:33):

I don’t know if you still use dork. I like

Speaker 1 (13:35):

When you say dork, it sounds so fun. <laugh>

Speaker 2 (13:38):

So in <laugh>. I know,

Speaker 1 (13:41):

I

Speaker 2 (13:42):

Know. Um, well, I’ll work on that. Getting rid of

Speaker 1 (13:44):

That. No, I, I like

Speaker 2 (13:46):

The dork, but at the dork. Yeah. Yeah. So, so that, yeah. That preparation stage can go on for a long time. Yeah. And you can vacillate back from, um, you know, contemplating it. And I’m preparing. Yeah. Um, and, and that’s where I, I would say a lot of, lot of people that are following you are, they’re in that stage, but then the next stage is action. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, now we’re doing it. Yeah. Right. We’re, we are, you know, like when we are in that group that you have, it’s like, okay, this person has 15 days, this person has three years. Yeah. You have three years. Yeah. You know, so, so that’s the action stage. I’m doing it. Yeah. And I’m, I’m, you know, wading through all these firsts, I’m figuring it all out. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, and I’m, I’m gathering my tribe. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I’m figuring out, you know, I’ve got connecting with people that help me

Speaker 1 (14:33):

Yeah. Figure out what I need in this and what it Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:36):

Yes. Yes. And paying attention to, okay, how do I feel? And what do I do when I feel that way instead of drinking and all of that.

Speaker 1 (14:46):

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:47):

Yes. And then after a year, the, well, when we diagnose, uh, dependence, uh, or a substance use disorder, we, we say after a year, then that’s considered, um, in, in remission, uh, full. And so, okay. It’s a full year, then you’re fully in remission. Okay.

Speaker 1 (15:07):

So that’s interesting, because that is like, even for drinking, that’s what it’s considered for a year. Yep. Wow. That is, because I always say like that first year is the hardest.

Speaker 2 (15:20):

Yes.

Speaker 1 (15:21):

It just is. It, it does seem to get easier. And I never say this is easy, but it gets easier after that first year.

Speaker 2 (15:30):

And you have experienced everything

Speaker 1 (15:32):

That’s the,

Speaker 2 (15:33):

You’ve experienced every season. Yes. Every holiday. Yes. Everything. Um, well, not every,

Speaker 1 (15:38):

Maybe not lost

Speaker 2 (15:39):

Life control you. Right,

Speaker 1 (15:40):

Right. But yeah. You, but you, once you kind of, once you tie the, you know, your first holiday, your first Thanksgiving, your first Easter, your first Valentine’s Day, once you start severing that tie to alcohol, it just, it just gets easier and easier from there. So it is that first, those firsts are the, the hardest.

Speaker 2 (16:02):

Yeah. Yes, yes. And the where the most learning comes from. And so, yeah. So then, so the action phase, and that can go on a long time, but then we would technically consider the next phase, which is, or stage which is maintenance. Okay. And then that’s okay. Now I’m a sober person for the rest of my life. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, so Yeah. So to say, so, so maintenance is, um, this is the way I live. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:30):

Ooh, that’s the sweet spot, you guys, that is the sweet spot. Yeah. Where it’s not, it’s not work. That

Speaker 2 (16:36):

Is the sweet,

Speaker 1 (16:37):

It’s not work.

Speaker 2 (16:38):

Right. It’s just Right. It’s who you are, you’re not Yeah. White knuckling it, thinking about it, what, first thing you wake up totally.

Speaker 1 (16:45):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yes. Like, you’re not, that’s, that’s where I, and so where I sit is, yeah. That feels good.

Speaker 2 (16:52):

Yes. You’re, yes. You’re definitely in the maintenance phase. I mean, you’ve got, you just celebrated three years. It’s just who you are. It’s just your life. Yeah. You don’t, I mean, you don’t think about it. That’s not true. You think about it, it a

Speaker 1 (17:02):

Lot <laugh>. Cause it’s your life. I think about it now more than ever, but <laugh>. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:06):

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but so those are the five stages that we go through. And then there is a six stage, which is relapse. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And people are often uncomfortable with that as a, I’m a quote unquote normal stage. Right. That relapse is part of change. Yeah. And, and when we talk about that, people often have a, a real negative reaction to it. Like, well, you’re just giving me permission then to go back to it. Right. And that’s not it at all. But what we wanna do is normalizing that you, this may not be a linear path. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And that you may have false starts and you may slip and you may relapse and you may relapse. You may relapse for a year. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> or just a day or so. Um, the importance of recognizing relapse as just another stage is not to lose hope and not to feel like a failure, and not to be yourself up, but to look at that is, okay, this is a stage. What do I learn from this stage? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And if you can avoid feeling shame, ELAP or a relapse is loaded with good information about yourself, why’d I do it? Yeah. Not what the hell’s wrong with you that you did it, but like, okay, what was leading me to go back?

Speaker 1 (18:28):

Yes. Yeah. And, and I like that. Yes. What’s the difference between a lapse and a relapse?

Speaker 2 (18:35):

Well, what we would say is a lapse is just, you know, we were talking the other day about someone that there was some wine leftover in the fridge, and so she drank the rest of that bottle. That was a lapse. That was, and then right back at it the next day, fine. Okay. I feel bad, but I’m not gonna beat myself up. I’ve learned. Yeah. Um, that’s a lapse, a relapse would be Okay. So I’m, you know, going to drink. I, I’m just not gonna think about sobriety right now. And I’m, I’m, I

Speaker 1 (19:02):

Just, I’m just going for it.

Speaker 2 (19:03):

Go back to drinking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it’s, it really is, um, I guess the determining, which you would call that would be the length of time mm-hmm. <affirmative> and the seriousness of how much you go back to it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:18):

Uh, I, I think it’s so interesting and I think, and a a lot of people never get out of the pre-contemplation phase. Right?

Speaker 2 (19:26):

That’s right. And so like Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (19:28):

This, this isn’t like a Yeah. The generally, I would say if you’re listening to this, you’re probably in the preparation or the action phase stage.

Speaker 2 (19:40):

Yes. Yes. That’s right.

Speaker 1 (19:42):

Or

Speaker 2 (19:42):

The, it could even be the pr Well, yes, we have a lot the

Speaker 1 (19:46):

Contemplation.

Speaker 2 (19:46):

It’s, and it’s, yeah. I think it can be contemplation too, because I’m, I’m, yeah. I’m just ambivalent about what I want. I don’t know if I have a problem and yeah. So, so yeah. Gathering info,

Speaker 1 (19:59):

Which the problem is the alcohol. You

Speaker 2 (20:00):

Know, one thing. What’s that?

Speaker 1 (20:04):

You, you said, I don’t know if I have a problem. I said, which the problem is the alcohol, just a ps Oh, right,

Speaker 2 (20:10):

Right. Do you know when, one of the things you said earlier, I wanted to just circle back to Yeah. Cuz you said you could, in, when you’re in the preparation phase, you could still be drinking. Yeah. And it makes me think of Annie Grace’s book. Yes. She said in that book, don’t stop drinking. Yeah. Keep drinking while you’re reading this book. Yes. And I thought that was so smart because it’s like, don’t decide until you’re got some info here.

Speaker 1 (20:33):

Right. Yeah. I know that easy way by Alan Carr, who he, if you guys are looking for more resources too, he has, I mean he’s helped millions of people stop smoking. He does say he has ones on sugar on all of these behavioral changes. And he has one on sobriety. And he says that too, like continue to do the habit while you’re listening or reading the books.

Speaker 2 (20:58):

Yes. Yeah. Cuz then the pressure is off it, it’s just like, right, okay, I’m just gonna gather information. I’m just, I haven’t decided and I can just take

Speaker 1 (21:07):

These and

Speaker 2 (21:08):

Then there’s no information.

Speaker 1 (21:09):

Yeah. And then there’s no romanticizing it either. Right,

Speaker 2 (21:12):

Right, right.

Speaker 1 (21:13):

Because I think that that’s so easy to do when we’re away from something and we can forget in those early stages, we can forget what it actually did and what it is and we can romanticize it. And instead it’s like, no, I, I’m gonna continue to see this up close while I’m learning about it. So then it’s kind of like blinders off. Yes. Let me really see what this is.

Speaker 2 (21:35):

Right. That’s right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the whole idea of recognizing these stages really is so you could feel <laugh>, I don’t like to use the word normal, but it normalizes what we go through. Yeah. When we’re trying to change anything. And, and they’re not discreet, uh, stages where, you know, this one takes one month, this takes three months. It’s just, we are just sort of, it’s life is messy and we’re gonna go through these stages, but not in a prescribed way. And just recognizing, oh, here’s where I am. Oh, oh, this makes sense.

Speaker 1 (22:08):

Right. Like, oh, this is, I remember the mental health moment talking about this. Like, this isn’t something that is a weakness in me, that I cannot, what is wrong with me? That I can’t control this and why can’t I do this, this, that’s not, that’s not what it is guys.

Speaker 2 (22:24):

Right, right. Yeah. So we had talked previously about the difference between sha and guilt and how guilt is, you know, helps us, it builds us up, it helps us understand ourselves where shame just makes us feel bad about ourself. And then we have less possibility of being successful cuz we feel like a piece of

Speaker 1 (22:40):

Shit. Right.

Speaker 2 (22:41):

So that’s why, that’s why we say that relapse is part of change. So we avoid any hint of shame and we just go, yep. That’s how this shit works.

Speaker 1 (22:51):

Right. And, and that it can be so valuable in the things that

Speaker 2 (22:55):

Yes.

Speaker 1 (22:56):

Exactly. That you learn rather than a white knuckling and crossing off those days. And it’s just like not, there’s some, there’s some introspection that, that is, is missed when we’re just white knuckling something and trying to get through it rather than really figuring out why you drink when you turn to it, when you feel triggered, when your defenses feel the weakest. And as long as you, if, if you have a lapse and you come out of it with that information, I mean that, I can’t think of a better way to get that in. Like, that’s, that’s gold.

Speaker 2 (23:37):

That’s gold. That’s a great way to put that, that is so loaded with great information. It makes you so much stronger the next time.

Speaker 1 (23:45):

Yeah. Yes. That’s what reminds me of in the group too. We had, we had someone who, you know, wasn’t gonna give herself a gold star after she had a really, she was in a really tough social situation and she was fighting it and fighting it and white-knuckling through it. And then she had a lapse and then she learned, you know, what happened and why that happened. And then she wasn’t gonna give herself a gold star on her chart. And we all kind of came to the conclusion of like, man, if you don’t deserve a gold star after this, like this is when you get the gold star, that is when you get Exactly. Not when you just white knuckle through a day and, and have your blinders on and just, okay, you didn’t drink, that’s great. But when you can come out of something with information about yourself and your relationship with alcohol, that’s only gonna propel you into sobriety, that’s when you deserve that gold star.

Speaker 2 (24:38):

That’s exactly right. And you know what was so cool about that story is when she told it in the group, and there are 50 women in the group Yeah. And every one of them was like, you know, chatting, typing in the chat box. Yes. And just like you No, yay, you. Yes. And I mean, what a wonderful totally what a wonderful group that they did that for her.

Speaker 1 (24:59):

Yeah. It’s so true too. How, how it just highlights how hard we are, we are on ourselves and yet when we hear somebody else’s story, it’s so easy to see how strong someone is uhhuh and to have compassion and to see that that was just so valuable. And yet we can just get so in shrivel up inside into ourselves and, and, and steep in that shame. But once you shake that shame off and you, you know, step back and see, wait a second, I’m doing something really fucking amazing, really hard. I am changing, I am changing my behavior, I’m changing my habits, I’m changing things that I’ve done for the past 20, 30, 15 years. I’m changing that. Like, that is huge. So huge. No matter what stage you’re at, um, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you. Change is not easy. Change is possible. You can do it. It’s not easy.

Speaker 2 (26:04):

Yeah. Right. It’s not easy, but it, but you can do it and I you

Speaker 1 (26:08):

Can do it.

Speaker 2 (26:09):

Yeah. Yeah. And I celebrate you, Suzanne, for all of this that you’re showing everybody. It’s just awesome.

Speaker 1 (26:17):

Thank you, mom. We’re like the dream team. We’re like,

Speaker 2 (26:20):

We are,

Speaker 1 (26:20):

We’re like Michael except for short. Scotty Pippin <laugh>. Yeah. Except for short.

Speaker 2 (26:25):

We’re shorter than that.

Speaker 1 (26:26):

And mom’s shorter than I am so <laugh> <laugh>

Speaker 2 (26:31):

And getting shorter

Speaker 1 (26:32):

<laugh> and MA’s getting shorter. Oh, well I love you. I’m so grateful for you and your, your just your knowledge and your wisdom and I’m Oh, thank you. Sweet girl. Glad you’re here. Thank you. Yes. I love you. I’m glad I’m here too. Love you <laugh>. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Silver Mom Life. If you loved it, please rate and review it wherever you listen. Five stars is amazing. Also, follow me on Instagram at the sober mom life. Okay. I’ll see you next week. I’m gonna go reheat my coffee. Bye.

Speaker 3 (27:19):

Why are we doing an ad again?

Speaker 1 (27:21):

So that we can tell people about brand new information, a pop culture and political podcast.

Speaker 3 (27:27):

Say it in a way that doesn’t sound like game show host.

Speaker 1 (27:30):

Okay. Do you wanna be in a room of overeducated, douche bags and feel comfortable? Brand new information is for you.

Speaker 3 (27:36):

What’s it gonna take to put you in this podcast today? We have brand new information on sale for free, free wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 (27:45):

Yeah. We might not break the political and pop culture news of the

Speaker 3 (27:48):

Week, but we put it right back together for you.

Speaker 1 (27:51):

That’s right. Listen, wherever you find your favorite podcasts.

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