I’ve been dreading writing this letter.
Not because I can’t believe you are 1 today. And not because I can’t believe it’s gone by so fast, that it’s left me dizzy and wondering just where all those days have gone.
I’ve been dreading writing this letter to you because there is no way I can. It’s too big. It’s too heavy to try to find the right words to express my feelings and thoughts that have made up our past 365 days, and that will continue to pulse through me for the rest of my life.
I’ve opened and closed it countless times, getting lost in either my head or my heart, I’m not sure which. Probably both.
I can’t tell you how much I love you. That doesn’t even scratch the surface.
I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. I can’t tell you that if I could spend every day from now on, sitting on the floor with you, listening to that silly laugh, watching you pull yourself up and try to take that first step, I would.
I’ve wanted to write you a letter you can read when you’re sitting alone in your dorm room, scared on your first day of college, or when you’re pregnant and anxious about how your life will change.
But, I can’t write these things. I don’t know how.
The only thing I can do is to promise to show you. I will spend the rest of my days showing you just how much I love you and how proud I am of you and who you are growing up to be.
I will show you that there has never been a girl like you, with a mama like me.
Happy Birthday, baby girl.