5 Mistakes I’ll Make With My Second Baby

When I had Harper, I was clueless. I had absolutely no idea about how or even where to begin to raise a child. I had never changed a diaper in my life. I could count on one finger how many times I had held a baby.

Very early on in those foggy newborn days, I resorted to Google. I became obsessed with finding the “right” way. I needed answers and was convinced that little handheld wonder could teach me how to be a mom.

I was wrong. Google led me down a path filled with uncertainty and second-guessing and confusion. It was all noise and was slowly making me deaf.

So, I listened to my instincts and the small voice inside that eventually became loud enough to drown out the chatter. I became an expert not on motherhood, but on my little girl. We stumbled through it together. Sure, we both stubbed our toes and got some bruises, but we made it through that first year.

And now that I’m expecting my second baby, I’m still clueless. I don’t know the “right” way to do this motherhood thing. I will make mistakes daily and undoubtedly will continue to screw it up. It will take some time to become an expert on her. And it’ll all be ok.

Certainly there are plenty of mistakes I know I won’t make again with my second baby. I’ll ask for and accept help when I need it. I’ll remind myself that sometimes the Pediatricians don’t know it all, either. I’ll surround myself with my mama tribe right from the beginning.

But, here are the 5 mistakes I’ll make (again) with my second baby:

1. I’LL HOLD AND CODDLE HER TOO MUCH. Meaning pretty much all the time. For the first 4 months of Harper’s life, she napped on me. And now that she’s a little toddler tornado and snuggling is not at the top of her priority list, I long for those early days of her nestled in where I could pepper the top of her head with as many kisses as my heart desired.  I will savor all of those newborn snuggles and not give a damn about “what it means” for later and if we’re creating sleep crutches because I know that all too soon, she will be off running.

2. I’LL BUY ENTIRELY TOO MANY PRETTY LITTLE DRESSES THAT SHE’LL ONLY WEAR ONCE FOR 5 MINUTES. Because it goes against all logic and I just can’t help myself. And this one is doubly ridiculous, because we have so many hand-me-downs from Harper. But those little pink frills and white bows make me weak in the knees and my uterus and I have absolutely zero defenses against them. It’s called nesting.

3. I’LL LET HER CIO. Oh, Cry It Out. Remember the article I wrote for Scary Mommy? Boy, did some of those sancti-mommies hate me. You’d think I was letting their babies cry. I still firmly believe that of ALL the decisions I made in the first year of my girl’s life, letting her cry it out was the absolute best. And guess what?! She’s a totally normal, well-adjusted, well-rested little person 2 years later. Gasp.

4. I’LL THROW BABY LED WEANING OUT THE WINDOW. I was somehow convinced I was screwing Harper up for life by not doing BLW. I mean, if we started with purees and not whole food, how was she ever going to learn how to chew?? Ummm, she totally did. Thanks to that whole evolutionary survival thing.  

5. I’LL WORRY TOO DAMN MUCH. But this time, I’ll give myself some grace. Because worrying is just a part of this gig. Is she too hot? Is she breathing? Is she going to be spoiled because of all those pretty newborn clothes? What mistakes am I making this time?

 

5 mistakes I will make with my second baby

20 Comments

  • Shannan Panganiban

    love this post! we all have to give ourselves grace!

  • Brianna

    I LOVE THIS! AMEN to feeding solids instead of puree and cio! I’m a HUGE CIO fan!! 😀

  • Kim

    Oh how I loved this post. My 2nd is 3 now, and I still rock her at night. She’s my last, and I will do what I want 🙂 There are no rules – just grace and love. And props for the CIO – we did it with her and it worked wonders!

  • Allison

    I am sharing this with absolutely every new mom I know. The internet is a scary place for new moms…if they’re going to Google for parenting, I want them to find this!

  • Emily

    Great post! Enjoy her!

  • Jasmine Hewitt

    I love this! I think by the time we get to the first year, most moms rethink earlier strategies

  • Mommy Little

    Great post, I have literally done 3 of these already with my second child. I know the rest will follow.

  • Melissa

    Great post! It must be so much different the second time around.

  • Ashley

    I love, love, love this post! I’m pinning right now. Thank you so much for capturing so many of my thoughts as a 1st time mom wanting to have a second PERFECTLY!

  • Dicia

    I love this! We are totally screwing up as we go. There is no right or wrong way. As long as our babies are happy and healthy, I think we are doing good. There were almost 7 years between my boys and I learned a lot between both of them. I made mistakes with both boys, but both boys are happy, thriving, and healthy. We do what is right for our babies and who is to judge that?

  • Dawnene - Beans & Peanuts

    I love how you said you didn’t become an expert at motherhood but you’re an expert when it comes to your daughter….that is so true! Your “mistakes” are just the way you do things that others may not! Love this

  • Stephanie Flores

    I love this. I just had my second child and definitely tried to do better this time around but still I am not perfect and these mistakes are all the things I’ve done except cry it out. I just can’t bring myself to do it. glad you got through it!

  • Savannah

    Sooooo many people told me not to “spoil” my son, and it always confused me. Even if it wasn’t for him, I just LOVED soaking in those newborn snuggles, so maybe I was spoiling myself a little too much 😛
    Motherhood is full of mistakes, but I think as long as we love these little humans with all we have, everything will turn out okay! <3

  • Kristy / Seven Graces

    I love this! I’m expecting my second this coming Friday, and I’ll be doing all the same things. 🙂 Love your words!

  • Jenni Laplow

    This was a great read. My daughter just turned 1, and the thought of trying for baby 2 could be soon so I agree with everything you said! Best of luck, and you got this Momma!!

  • Kathryn

    Love this!! Give yourself grace and embrace the journey you’re on!

  • Emily Lindsey

    Yes! Love this post. I think it’s too easy to get lost in what you “should” be doing….just go with your mama gut!! xo

  • Jennifer L

    Love the read! I don’t have children but I know plenty of friends with babies and how they are with their first and second are so different.

  • Becca Wilson

    Oh yes, when we had our next two kids after our first one, we definitely let them cry it out. We worried way too much with our first.

  • Lauren

    Love this! I totally snuggled my second baby all the time.. even more than my 1st, since I was so worried about what people were telling me about spoiling the baby! (WHY did I listen to people?)

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